Kallie Larson / Staff Photographer

Anyone who has been in a relationship knows jealousy is the key ingredient to preparing a highly poisonous meal. It can cause tension, stress and destroy relationships.

There are a few main reasons for this relationship toxin: fear, insecurity and distrust. Whether it’s because of past relationships, past infidelities or just negative self-esteem, the relationship is bound to ruin if the issue isn’t addressed.

When someone is afraid of their partner leaving them or finding someone “better,” they often end up acting on that fear in a form that causes their partner to not want to be with them.

This fear of losing the love, friendship and affection is, more often than not, unjustified. It is something that can start as a tiny doubt and quickly manifest into a completely dreaded scenario that probably will never happen.

For example, someone might see their partner talking to someone they don’t know at school. Their first thoughts are probably, “Who is that?” and “What are they talking about?”

But soon these simple questions can grow into thoughts such as “Does he or she like that person more than me?” and “Do they see that person very often without telling me?”

Before long, they are imagining situations of their partner being unfaithful and they begin to feel unsure of the whole relationship.

Insecurity is another reason for someone to feel and act jealous, and eventually push their partner away.

Insecurities are also often a misconception in a person’s mind. In this case, there may not be anything specific that sets off their uncertainties, but just their own self-esteem problems.

This feeling that they may not be good enough 8212; not pretty enough, not rich enough, not smart enough 8212; causes them to fear that their partner may want someone “better.”

With these negative thoughts in mind, the insecure partner causes their own stress and only gets more paranoid, constantly questioning themselves and their partner. “Why is he looking at her? Does he think she’s prettier than me?” or “I need money because she likes expensive things.” If the relationship is based on love and trust, these doubts should not be an issue.

The last common reason for jealousy is the lack of trust in the relationship. When the person doesn’t trust their partner, they are always assuming the worst in situations. This is a big problem in any social setting.

Even though there is usually a strong connection in a relationship, they are still two separate people and they both are entitled to space and privacy. When it comes to things such as class or work, with co-workers or group assignments, it is unfair to accuse the partner or give them a guilt trip without any strong evidence that they may actually be betraying them.

Sometimes these fears come from previous relationships in which their partners were unfaithful, but again, this is unfair to bring the painful past into a new, blossoming relationship. Those issues need to be addressed and confronted head-on so both partners can move forward without the constant paranoia of having the same heartbreak.

An article written by Susie and Otto Collins says, “If your partner says “I trust you but I don’t trust the people you work with or other people you socialize with’ then you can just translate that to mean “I don’t trust your ability to make conscious decisions about your conduct with other people when I’m not there.'”

One way to overcome jealousy in a relationship is to simply open communication. When each partner can comfortably express their fears and doubts about themselves and the relationship, they can create a closer bond and reassure the other that there is nothing to worry about.

“I think that some people really don’t practice expressing their feelings enough,” communications sophomore Natalie Kutches said. “If you can calmly talk about how you feel then you can work through almost anything.”

Without honesty and open communication, the relationship lacks the ability to be a team. Instead, it builds a wall between the partners.

Another way to help each partner feel more at ease in the relationship is to think positively. This may seem cheesy and easier said than done, but the more someone thinks or imagines the worst case scenarios, the more likely it is to occur. By constantly thinking “I hope my partner doesn’t cheat” or “I’m not good-looking enough for him or her, I bet they want someone better looking,” they are only causing the fear to become a reality.

By merely having trust and believing in the positive possibilities such as “My partner loves me very much and only wants the best for me” or, “We’re a team and we work together to make each other happy,” they will not only cause that positive vibe to manifest itself but they will also live more relaxed and stress-free lives.