ARE YOU THERE TAAKA? IT’S ME, FARYAR: Taking yourself back to the candy shop

by Staff

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It was somewhere between learning cursive through those endless repetitive lessons and forced reading time when you got to learn one of life’s most undeniable and greatest tools of all: bartering.

Now I don’t mean bartering things such as black pearls for buffalo moccasins, I mean trading that really meant something to us back in the third grade.

Kid 1: “I’ll trade you my Ravens Revenge for a pack of your Pop Rocks.”

Kid 2: “You’ve got to be kidding me, I don’t ask for anything less than five Push Pops.”

It sounds stupid, but if you think back to that carefree decade known as the ’90s, it was basically all we had besides reruns of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” and “Hey Dude.”

(Note to reader: If the oldest Nickelodeon show you can remember is “The Amanda Show,” then stop reading now.)

As you begin to settle into your new digs, whether it be the prison- looking LLC at Maya and Olmeca or your new on-campus house or apartment, take a moment and think back to those times.

Stop stocking your refrigerator with Digiorno, tortilla chips, Top Ramen and soda or running to Cuic every night for frozen yogurt and omelets, and reminisce about when all you wanted was for your mom to pick you up in that red Mazda Miata – that you thought all your friends would be jealous of – and rush home to drink a bottle of Sunny Delight and watch how Clarissa actually explained it all.

We can’t exactly teleport, but luckily we can dream. So below is a list of a few treats you might have forgotten from the past that you might still wish you had.

Dunk-a-roos

After taking all your friends’ slammers during a grueling Pogs match, it was time to unwind and enjoy a little treat. What was the ultimate snack of champions? Answer: Dunk-a-roos.

Grabbing one small cinnamon or chocolate chip flavored kangaroo- shaped graham cracker and dipping it into either vanilla or chocolate sauce was all it took to reach total oblivion. Soon kids began to challenge one another to who could get the most dipping sauce on his or her cracker. And without a doubt, before the day was done, someone always had to step up and mix the two flavors in one dip.

I will never understand how a package of 10 kangaroos and a cubic inch of dipping sauce can teach a young child competition.

Whistle Pops

So your Tamagotchi died, but it isn’t the end of the world. Why not go listen to some music? Or better yet, make music.

Who could ever forget a time when the thin line between candy aficionado and makeshift musician was temporarily erased? One, and only one, candy deserves credit for erasing such a line: Whistle Pops.

These diverse lollipops came in a few different flavors; however, their main characteristic was that before you even began eating the thing, it was a flute. You could blow into the top to play different notes, while the wrapper even came with notes to play.

No you couldn’t “lick the wrapper” and it didn’t teach you to play “lollipop,” but it did make you the coolest kid people saw when stepping onto the spongy surface of the playground.

Fruit Stripe
Remember that kid all the girls used to have a crush on and always thought looked like one of the Hanson brothers? It wasn’t because he held a Trapper Keeper from the computer lab to the music room; it was much more than that.

It was because he was chewing Fruit Stripe chewing gum. The gum where that athletic zebra adorned the front of the package and every stick was as identical to an ’80s tie-dye shirt as the next stick.

But what really sold it was the tattoo that came with each stick. It was an emblem of pride, an icon of long-lasting flavor and of course, a symbol of instant coolness that even the Zoey 101 generation can appreciate.

-Faryar Borhani is a journalism junior.

-This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.

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