The Daily Aztec

Technology is not the ‘death of dating’

Generational hand-wringing over the state of modern relationships is misguided and wrong.

by Andrea Lopez-Villafaña, Mundo Azteca Editor

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Enter the words “millennials and dating” into Google and numerous results will appear on how the generation is leading the death of traditional dating.

They aren’t just lazy, selfish and arrogant, but apparently also causing the demise of dating because they are so into hookup culture.

Hookup culture didn’t begin with Tinder or millennials.

Casual sex with a significant other, or others, has been going on for eons – no generation created it, nor is anyone destroying traditional dating.

New York Times reporter Alex Williams said in his article “The End of Courtship?” that millennials don’t know how to date because they are more familiar with “hookup culture” than the traditional dinner and a movie.

A Huffington Post blog, “Dating’s Dead, Long Live These 10 Millennial Dating Patterns,” co-written by a millennial, Sarah Marcantonio, suggests dating is dead in this generation and that they resort instead to text conversations, hookups and dating apps.

Rolling Stone reporter Elisabeth Sherman said in her article “Inside the Awkward World of Millennial Dating” that over-sharing on social media affects dating habits.

There are so many things for which millennials are judged, but just because they aren’t doing it the conventional way doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Maybe we aren’t all going on elaborate dates of dinner and movies or meeting the way our grandparents did, but that doesn’t mean dating is dead.

So we switched dinner and a movie to “Netflix and chill” – so what? If that’s what someone wants, then who’s to tell them if it’s right or wrong?

Are the older generations simply slut shaming millennials because some choose to casually hook up instead of date traditionally?

Williams argues that there is no more courtship in the way that millennials date, but courtship can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.

For some it can be a text, an invitation to a party or a Snapchat streak.

Sex and the City, a series that has won seven Emmy Awards and eight Golden Globes, had success through its seven-year run on storylines about four women in New York City who explored their sexuality in different ways.

The women in this show are not millennials and neither is their audience.

The characters on the hit show were in their mid-thirties and didn’t have Tinder. That didn’t stop them from having causal sex, or going on traditional dates.

Every generation has had different dating styles and millennials are just finding a different way to date that involves texting, dating apps, drinks and “sliding into the DMs”.

Search “Generation X and dating” and you will find stories that suggest people from that generation are looking to date millennials.

Search “baby boomers and dating” and you will find stories that suggest more individuals from that generation are moving on to online dating sites as opposed to traditional dating.

Just because other generations might think that millennials only hook up, doesn’t mean there are not individuals who prefer to date in more traditional ways.

With all this judgment about how millennials are the death of dating, it’s important to understand and remind yourself that it’s OK to want to go on a date. No one should make you feel like you’re high maintenance or extravagant.

It’s also perfectly normal to not be interested in anything serious and just want to hook up. As long as both individuals are on the same page, it can work out without anyone feeling upset.

It’s important to keep in mind that just because millennials have a different dating style than other generations, doesn’t mean they’re trying to kill off dating as a whole.

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