San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec

San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec




San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec

BEAU KNOWS: The quadpod does Long Beach

By Beau Bearden, Senior Staff Writer

The night before the journey to Long Beach for the San Diego State men’s basketball team’s season opener, I decided a running diary was in order.

Not only was it the first The Daily Aztec Sports road trip of 2010, but Assistant Sports Editor Agustin Gonzalez and Staff Columnist Matt McClanahan would also have to spend almost two hours in a car with yours truly. As former Assistant Sports Editor David Pope once said about me, I’m 4 feet of insanity. Don’t give me candy or look me in the eyes.

I disagree with Pope, but that’s beside the point.

With this being the first running diary of my career, don’t expect the funniest thing you’ve ever read. Sports Editor Edward Lewis put it best when he said, “We used to do them when we had funny people write for us.” E. Lew is speaking of Pope, who can put one together as easily as sophomore forward Kawhi Leonard notches double-doubles.

I, on the other hand, had to take some “Beau notes” as Mateo called them.

So here goes.

11 a.m., Saturday – E.Lew, Auggie, Mateo and I meet up at the parking structure near the DA office, but we already have a problem. E. Lew’s car is a piece of crap and barely made it here from his apartment. So either Auggie or Mateo will have to drive. You might ask why I’m not included in this discussion. It’s because I don’t have a car, or a license. I know it’s pretty sad. But I can’t even see past the steering wheel, so it’s best that I don’t operate a vehicle.

11:30 a.m. – After about a half hour of DA drama (not an unusual thing in the office), we’re on the road. Despite his comment that he would rather go home and watch the Auburn game than drive, Mateo steps up as Edgar Renteria did in the World Series and takes the wheel.

11:32 a.m. – It’s only been two minutes and I’ve already been “Boom Roasted.” Note: For anyone who hasn’t seen that episode of “The Office,” this term is similar to “burn” and was used multiple times during our trip. I didn’t count because it was practically said as often as Mateo says “y’all.” BOOM ROASTED!

11:40 a.m. – It didn’t take long for another roasting. This time Mateo tells E. Lew that he’s lost his charisma and all he does is make out with Brittany. It appears E. Lew agrees because he starts laughing and says he’s let Mateo down. Mateo’s response: “There’s been a string of letdowns lately.” Which was very similar to the Dallas Cowboys up until last Sunday. BOOM ROASTED!

12:07 p.m. – Auggie just decided to moon a car full of girls on the freeway. Mateo isn’t sure it happened so he asks, “Did he just do it?” E. Lew’s response: “Yes! I just saw his ass!” The girls obviously didn’t like what they saw though, because they were gone as fast as Wade Phillips was out of a coaching job. BOOM ROASTED!

12:33 p.m. – We planned on stopping at Hooters, but ended up at the Spectrum in Irvine. If you’re wondering why we decided to make a pit stop there, it’s because Mateo wanted to watch the Auburn football team play even though they’ll probably have to vacate all their wins when Cam Newton ends up being ineligible. BOOM ROASTED!

3:00 p.m. – I thought it was bad when I showed two of Auggie’s hot blonde friends my green Gecko pants in the Yardhouse, but Mateo outdid me by changing in the parking lot before we leave for the LBC. He doesn’t hesitate to show off his flamingo boxers, but he won’t take off his “natural sweater vest.” BOOM ROASTED!

3:30 p.m. – We arrive at the Pyramid and we all agree it looks like the Luxor in Las Vegas. However, once inside it loses a lot of respect. There are only four restrooms and it hadn’t been filled to capacity until that day when a standing-room only crowd of 5,143 witnessed an 81-65 Aztec victory. Also, the video board is the size of a living room TV. Boom Roasted?

6:41 p.m. – As we’re leaving LBSU, we see a car next to us with two girls. After the earlier mooning incident, Mateo and E. Lew don’t think Auggie will do it again. But the taunts of “You won’t do it!” just seem to give Auggie more motivation to do so. It was another failed attempt though, as the girls disappeared as fast as the Padres did in the playoffs. Oh wait, they didn’t make it this year. BOOM ROASTED!

10:30 p.m.-I had planned on going to Effin’s by now to celebrate SDSU’s victory, but everyone wanted to play some NCAA 11 at my apartment. It turned out to be a good decision for Mateo and Auggie as they each beat E. Lew and I, respectively. E. Lew says, “I want to cry right now,” and he does. “I just wasted two hours of sleep to get my ass kicked in NCAA.” I may have lost, but at least I’m not a Cowboys fan like E. Lew. Roasted, boom.

1:03 a.m. – After an hour or so at Effin’s, I see an unnamed Aztec football player and his girlfriend. I start talking about the game and the conversation switches to Auggie’s column last week. If you didn’t read it, it pretty much said the Aztecs were a second-rate Mountain

West Conference team, we’re lucky to be 7-2 and should rest Ryan Lindley and Ronnie Hillman because they weren’t going to beat TCU. This obviously didn’t go over so well with the team and the unnamed player basically said he wanted to take the column and shove it up Auggie’s ass. Well, guess all he has to do is get in a car full of girls and he’ll have the perfect opportunity…BOOM…

Roasted.


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San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913
BEAU KNOWS: The quadpod does Long Beach