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Some people just get along better with the opposite sex.

You’ve heard the type: “Women are too catty for me,” or “I feel like she gets me.” In all honesty, there are always a few bad apples in any basket. Heck, there’s variety like you wouldn’t believe: sour to sweet and raw to bruised.

But, when your significant other starts playing the gender card, excusing his or her “friend time” with the opposite sex, it’s going to get heated.

Perhaps he’s just being friendly and enjoying some new conversation. Maybe she’s the outgoing type and has the ability to make new friends in any setting. Sometimes it’s the “seemingly harmless cheating” that can really peel your skin. And sometimes, your instincts may be right on 8212; your partner is searching for another pairing.

In deciding whether your sweetheart is looking for a different flavor in his or her opposite gender excursions, there are a few things you should consider. I like to call them the four I’s of infidelity.

Intent
With the workplace striving to achieve maximum diversity and equal employment, it’s likely that professionals of the opposite gender surround your significant other. It’s important to respect the concepts of team projects, business meetings and coworker relationships. You can start being concerned if his or her BlackBerry is filled with unrelated business messages from a coworker, if a “friend” consistently comes up during intimate conversation or if a noticeable chemistry can be detected between your loved one and his or her close comrade.

Information
In a world of mixed communication methods, globalization and ways to find out a little bit about anything, you need to keep your friends, foes and facts straight. If you heard it through the grapevine, do your own research. It’s as simple as asking questions and being open about your thoughts. Educate yourself on possibilities before making accusations. It isn’t fair to make an uneducated assumption about a loved one. With so much information available at your fingertips, you should research before you resent.

Ignorance
Don’t assume every time your sweetheart goes out with a friend of the opposite gender he or she is making a strategic move to harm you emotionally. Some people really do mesh better with the other sex. But if weekends turn into split time between her time out with the guys or his pre-planned lunch engagements, it’s reasonable to be open about your discomfort. Maybe your honey is making choices by acting on ignorance, so take it upon yourself to clarify.

Infidelity
There are several ways to spot a cheater: unexplained nights out, long weekend trips with mixed-gender crowds and lengthy conversations about personal issues. Not all apples are bad; however, don’t disregard signs of infidelity. If your instinct is telling you something isn’t right, don’t deny yourself the gift of a gut feeling. Speak up and get the answers you deserve.

Emotional cheating is by definition, indefinable. It’s different for everyone because everyone has different ways of accepting and reacting to circumstances. The most important thing in a relationship is communication. If you are able to speak respectfully and honestly to your loved one about your feelings, you will both have a clear understanding about what it means to respect one another and what lines you both agree not to cross.

Every relationship has surprises; but no one wants to bite into the apple with the worm inside.

8212;Natalia Van Stralen is a journalism and political science senior.

8212;This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.