Ilike it when men open doors for me. I like the fact that my boyfriendusually pays for dinner and sporadically buys me flowers.
However, there are things I don’t like about being a woman.
I don’t like that I’m not safe alone at night. I don’t like thatmany people judge me solely on my appearance (Men aren’t the loneculprits here. Ladies, I’m looking in your direction). However, myprimary grievance is the way society’s rules ensure our inequality.
Once, while my boyfriend and I were fighting, he casuallymentioned he gets annoyed when women contradict themselves.
Upon my demand for an explanation, he said, “When it comes to yourworking lives, you want to be treated completely equally. Nofavoritism either way. But in relationships, you all want to beprincesses.”
This pissed me off.
Nevertheless, what he said made me think. I had to acknowledgethat what he said actually made some sense.
In relationships, women want to be pursued. Men buy us flowers anddinner. Men open our doors and pull out our chairs.
Women like it that way, but so do men.
My boyfriend admitted that he enjoys buying me flowers, and feelsawkward whenever I pay for dinner.
So why change anything? The system seems to be working well. Whylouse things up?
Before the women’s movement, we had a fine life. We lived at home,took care of our kids and cleaned the house while our husbands tookcare of us. They put money on the table and food in our mouths.
Unfortunately, cleaning a house gets boring. Our minds weresuffocating, so we burned our comfortable lives with our bras andpursued academia. We got tough jobs and began the fight to win therespect of our male peers, who hadn’t yet severed the image of us inthe kitchen from their minds.
Yet, we kept the tradition of chivalry, because we both liked itthat way.
Today, men still buy women flowers, jewelry and dinner. They takeus out and show us a good time. This wins us over.
They put a lot of effort into wooing us, as they would work hardto win a trophy. Then they get upset when they can’t treat us liketrophies.
This isn’t how a relationship should work. Couples should bepartners. They should be friends.
What purpose does chivalry serve today? Unfortunately, althoughboth sexes enjoy the practice, it only hurts women’s efforts to beconsidered equal to men.
Alas, a man can’t consider a woman equal if he has to pull out herchair for her.
Chivalry is killing our chances at true equality. If I have tochoose between equality and chivalry, I say, screw it — I’ll open myown damn door.
I’m not suggesting we abandon the idea altogether. I say, let’smake it go both ways.
Women on campus, I urge you: If you are walking into a buildingand a man is walking behind you, open the door for him. If he dropshis books, bend down and help him pick them up.
Men, I ask you to do something that may be very difficult. Whenwomen show this courtesy to you, accept it kindly. Be grateful that afellow human being has taken a moment out of her day to show youhospitality. It doesn’t make you less of a man; I promise yourtestosterone count will not change, unless you’re wearingtighty-whiteys, in which case I make no promises.
The day “chivalry” becomes “courtesy” that we all bestow on oneanother, the sexes will truly be equal.
–Rebecca Martin is a journalism sophomore.
–This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of TheDaily Aztec. Send e-mail to letters@thedailyaztec.com.Anonymous letters will not be printed — include your full name,major and year in school.
