By Stephen ChupaskaSenior Staff Writer
There’s a scene in Hannah and Her Sisters where Max Von Sydow’scharacter says that if Christ came back and saw what people weredoing in his name, he would never stop throwing up.
While I’m sure he was referring to religious nutcases andmisguided theologians, it is a line that floated across my mindduring a scene toward the merciful end of 40 Days and 40 Nights,where Josh Hartnett, handcuffed to a bed in crucifixion pose, yelps,”I’m like Jesus on the cross!”
Thiswretched, sometimes sexist, cur of a movie stars Josh Hartnett (BlackHawk Down) as Matt, a designer at a dot-com (remember those?) in SanFrancisco who, because of the emotional weight of seeing hisex-girlfriend getting married, decides to give up random bonking for40 days. He tries to keep his vow a secret but because of the looselips of his roommate, the entire office starts a betting pool on howlong Matt can resist temptation of the flesh. I’m sure the writerssaw that Seinfeld, too.
While at that pick-up joint that only exists in the movies, theLaundromat, he meets Erica played by Shannyn Sossamon. Matt falls forher, but they are unable to consummate their relationship because ofhis vow. This flimsy premise is supposed to be the platform wherereal feelings can be explored without sex getting in the way.
Instead,the film careens into what has become a tiresome sub-genre — thegross-out sex comedy. Moviegoers should prepare themselves for ashort attention span theater ride featuring predictable jokesinvolving erections, Viagra and condoms.
It is not that the gross-out picture cannot be enjoyable, but itmust have compelling well-written characters. 40 Days and 40 Nightsfails because every single person in the film is utterlydisagreeable. It trots out a cast of callow characters who speak innothing but supposedly hip snippy retorts that the writers haveobviously confused with wit.
The screenplay is as flat as yesterday’s soda.
The biggest disappointment is Hartnett, who was superb in bothBlack Hawk Down and The Virgin Suicides. In a movie that urges us tolook beyond the physical, he is nothing more than a pretty face. Ifyou haven’t given anything up for Lent yet, start with giving uptrashy films 40 Days and 40 Nights.
Unfortunately, 40 Days and 40 Nights opens around the countytomorrow.
