Shy guy in Maya: Love Guru, you seem to be the man when it comes to knowing how girls operate. The thing I can’t figure out is how do you know when to make the first move? I’m starting to like this girl I’ve been friends with for a while, and I think she likes me too. But I can’t read her at all. I just don’t know if she’ll be caught off guard or not be into it if I try something. What do you think?
Love Guru: When you’re trying to decide whether or not a girl is ready for you to turn on the charm, you’ve got to start paying attention to the little things she does. A little secret about women is when they flirt, they like to drop “subtle” cues to direct your attention to the fact that they like you. The key to becoming a smart dater is learning to recognize these things. If she starts wearing perfume when she hadn’t before, edging in closer to you when watching a movie or even putting her hand affectionately on your shoulder or arm when talking to you, then she’s into you. More than that, she’s putting herself out there just enough for you to return the favor. Once you get this green light, the next step is crucial: Go slow. Only go in for the hand hold or the nerve-wracking first kiss when you’re sure the time is right. It’s all about the timing. When the opportunity arises, go for it. It may just turn out to be the best move you ever made.
Parental Advisory: My girlfriend’s parents always bother me. Do I tell her or not? (Lauren)
Love Guru: This one is tricky because your girlfriend’s family is probably extremely important to her. What is it about them that bothers you? If they are rude or make you feel uncomfortable, feel free to pipe up to your girl. However, if they are just a little uptight or have some strange quirks, I would let it slide. Just give them a chance, because you don’t want to alienate yourself from your girlfriend. These parents raised the woman you love, so maybe they aren’t so bad after all.
Clingy in Cholula: I like this guy who I work with and we recently went out on a date. Things went really well, we have great chemistry, and I feel as if things are moving in the right direction. The only problem is since that night, I have been getting mixed signals from this guy. At work he will be completely flirtatious around me, but he hasn’t been making the next move to ask me out again. I want to continue seeing him, but I don’t want to seem clingy. The waiting is driving me crazy! What should I do?
Love Guru: I’m all about female empowerment—but girl, you’ve got to take a step back. You’re going about this all wrong. It usually takes one date for men to decide whether or not we like a girl. While this may not seem like enough time to judge a person, you’d be surprised at how much one evening will reveal whether you want to take things further with someone or not. The point is this guy already has a pretty good idea of whether he wants to continue dating you, but this is where the hard part comes in. You have to let him pursue you. It might seem like agonizing torture for the ball to be in his court, but if he likes you, he’ll do something about it. Don’t think of it as giving him the power. Think of it as his way of proving to you that he’s worth it. If he doesn’t pursue you with everything he’s got, he clearly doesn’t recognize what an amazing thing he’s missing out on. And in that case, forget him! Trust me, you want a man who takes a chance on a good thing when he sees it.
Aztec Night Off: I love my girlfriend and everything, but sometimes I just need a night to myself. How do I get her to understand without hurting her feelings?
Love Guru: Do some planning and let your girlfriend know about your solo night well in advance. She will be upset if she cleared her whole weekend to be with you and you decide last minute you would rather veg out and play Call of Duty. She will not feel blown off if you give her some notice and she has time to make her own plans.
