Procrastination found useful

by Emma Secker

Students, professors, scholars and shirkers of universities everywhere are reeling from the impact that recent, groundbreaking study results have wreaked on the national public. Despite contrary advice that employers, parents and professors have repeatedly instilled in today’s youth, there is now conclusive evidence to refute what most have believed to be true about time efficiency.

Harvard University’s Psychology Department has recently disclosed research results to verify a theory psychologists have been collaborating to expand upon and prove throughout the past decade. What these experts can now agree upon is the formerly criticized practice of delayed task completion, or procrastination, is in fact a method of work production more conducive to performance proficiency. In light of new research, the commonly indoctrinated ideal of proactive and punctual project completion previously found in universities has now been rendered obsolete, if not ineffective.

To validate this seemingly outlandish assertion, Harvard psychologist B.S. Shlacker explains a fundamental evolutionary process that is paramount to this profound discovery.
“By observing basic, evolutionary patterns mankind has followed throughout history, my colleagues and I can infer volumes about human cognition,” Schlacker said. “Human beings have always thrived by necessity, especially under situations that evoke a ‘fight or flight’ survival response.”

How does this point relate to the human phenomenon of procrastination? Schlacker, as well as other psychology experts, assert that when students are in urgent or crucial need to complete a task, usually within limited time constraints, they will by means of necessity put forth more exemplary work than if they were to have completed the work proactively.

Furthermore, once students experience the adrenaline surge resulting from a procrastination-induced amplification of urgency, human performance will exceed basic levels by entering this heightened, intuitive mode of survival.

Not only does a student perform more remarkably when accompanied with a high degree of stress, urgency and necessity, but another psychological phenomenon is said to be at work when one allows him or herself to procrastinate.

Dr. David Bologna of the UCLA Department of Neural Psychology offers his theory that a psychological phenomenon referred to as the “recency effect” plays a vital role in what makes procrastination so effective.

“When students delay their studying until hours before an exam is to be taken, the student’s memory of the freshly learned material is more salient and easily retrieved from the short-term memory,” Bologna said. “This recency effect explains human beings’ more efficient recall of information stemming from recent stimuli.”

San Diego State engineering professor, Dr. Justin Tyme, explains new methods he plans to employ in the interest of fostering procrastination habits in his future students. One such method is his innovative “48-hour rule.”

“Instead of allowing students weeks to complete a task, I will simply e-mail students their assignments 48 hours before the assignment is due,” Tyme said. “This will simulate the mechanism of procrastination, leaving students no choice but to channel complete focus and diligence toward the task in order to have it conceivably completed on time.”

While professors are scrambling to revolutionize their obsolete teaching methods to accommodate this new, seemingly backtracking principle of efficiency, students nationwide are optimistic these expectations for procrastination will prove to be fairly achievable. Communications junior Fynna Lee said she feels ahead of the curve by being behind schedule.

“It used to peeve me when my peers would form study groups and make study guides weeks in advance for class exams,” Lee said. “I have to admit it’s nice to know that my propensity to procrastinate has been for my own good, all along.”

Business sophomore Annie Excuse said an assignment completed last minute with an unlikely success rate is more rewarding and exhilarating for her to complete than one she might have begun upon its initial assignment due date.

“When it comes down to the wire, and I am almost certain I will not finish my work in time, it feels that much better to hammer it out and complete it against all odds,” Excuse said. “When I don’t have to worry that I might miss my deadline, the suspense and excitement factor is really not there.”

For loafing students, adrenaline junkies or even experimental professors, this new research in favor of task procrastination is an endearing monkey wrench thrown in the face of former academic convention.

-Emma Secker is an English junior.

-The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Aztec.

-This story is an inherent work of fiction and by no means true to any degree. Any similarity of names is entirely coincidental.