I’m a fan of action movies.

I happen to love all the classics like “Die Hard,” “First Blood” and even “Lethal Weapon.” I’ve been procrastinating a lot recently and one of my procrastination tools is Netflix. The way I can watch movies at any time of day simply by clicking stuff is amazing. I like violence and guns and I like yelling “Yeah! Get some!” After incredible action scenes like when John McClane kills a ridiculous amount of terrorists in the construction area of an airport in “Die Hard 2.” The thing about action movies is the violence is simple and easily relatable.

John Travolta blows some guy’s head off in a car by accident. Awesome! Uma Thurman pokes the eye out of a woman who only had one eye to begin with. Sweet! Chuck Norris shoots a missile from the exhaust pipe of a motorcycle and kills some terrorists. Epic! It’s simple and entertaining.

What I don’t like is when an action movie tries to include romance. It ruins the story.

The hero of an action movie is supposed to be a solitary guy who is only interested in kicking ass and taking names. But for some reason, Hollywood tries to appeal to people’s emotions with romance. Well, I’m going to go ahead and ruin this fantasy world for the writers, producers and directors. What reaction can movie executives expect when they’re selling violence and romance to someone in the same film? We’re not going to say things like: “Oh no! That poor man died! He had a family! What’s wrong with you Bruce Lee?” We don’t care. The man fended off eight guys with his bare fists! That’s the kind of stuff that gets your testosterone pumping.

Thinking realistically— which is kind of hard to do when you’re talking about the type of movies where Arnold Schwarzenegger travels through time as a cybernetic organism set on killing the Connors—what would happen after the screen rolled to credits?

Case #1:

The remake of “Total Recall.” Douglas (Collin Farrell) and Melina (Jessica Biel), who were romantically involved during the movie, liberate a colony from the evil rule of the British. What’s next? Do they get an apartment together? What if she’s a neat freak and he’s a slob? They may have nothing in common. How is the relationship going to last?

Here is a small, unrealistic dialogue sample of what would happen a month after the end of the movie: Melina: “I’m not happy in this relationship. We have nothing in common.” Douglas: “Ummm … remember when we liberated the colony?” Melina: “Oh yeah … well, there is that … okay. Forget I said anything.” Just because you saved the planet doesn’t mean you have to be romantically involved! Case #2 comes from “The Avengers” featuring Thor and Captain America. Thor fell in love with Natalie Portman, but he lives in Asgard. So does that mean Natalie Portman is going to be his queen in the Asgardian realm? Or if she doesn’t want to leave, is Thor going to move to earth and leave Asgard in the hands of his adopted brother Loki? Loki is evil! Thor can’t leave Asgard just because a girl charmed him. As far as the Captain goes, he ditched his date because he was stuck in an iceberg in the 1940s and woke up in the present day. First of all, he can probably find his girl, but she’s going to be around 90 years old. Second, how can you expect the Captain to fight intergalactic forces when he lost the woman he loves because he was frozen? I wouldn’t expect him to fight. I’d probably give him a hug and tell him there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Action movies should be filled with one thing: action. We don’t need to cry or feel warm and fuzzy inside. We just need to see some skulls get cracked and some bones get broken. Get some!