We all have choices in life. Choices like attending college, not taking drugs and not drinking and driving. We choose whether to allow or not allow a drunk friend or family member to drive. There will be many times in our lives when we will have to choose between doing the right thing or falling prey to our fears and weaknesses and doing the wrong thing.
One year ago, my two friends and I chose the wrong thing. We chose to take a midnight trip to Disneyland. The evening started off with a couple of 12-packs and a card game. After about an hour or two of playing cards and drinking, my friend Steve brought up the idea to go to Disneyland. We all jumped at the chance. There was a mad dash around our house to get money, CDs and clothes together for the trip the trip that would change all of our lives.
Once we got our stuff together we chose to stop at the liquor store. We purchased two more 12-packs of beer, a bottle of vodka and two packs of clove cigarettes. We were totally ready for the time of our lives.
The time of our lives ended at 5:30 a.m. just outside of Los Angeles. During the drive to L.A., we were all pounding the vodka, drinking beers and smoking a lot of cloves. We were having a good time talking about girlfriends, sports and philosophy and telling jokes. I was sitting in the front seat when I started getting tired from lack of sleep and all the booze I was drinking.
Alex, who was driving, told me to switch seats with Steve, who was sitting in the back, so they could keep each other company. We switched seats, and I fell into a deep, intoxicated slumber in the back. When I woke up, the car was pulled off to the side of the road. I thought we had stopped to take a whizz or something. When I cleared the sleep from my head, I noticed something wasn’t right.
The front of the car was smashed, and the winshield was totally shattered. By this time, my heart was pounding out of control and I was scared. I didn’t know what had happened until I saw Steve, and what I saw will haunt me for the rest of my life.
He was dangling between the passenger seat and the driver seat, dying due to the massive amount of blood pouring out of the hole in his neck. His fatal injury was caused from three drunk friends crashing into the back of a flatbed semi at over 90 miles per hour.
The trip of our lives ended with one friend dead and one convicted of drunk driving. The trip was no accident. It was the result of choosing the wrong option, the option of saying “Yes” to a stupid idea.
During my lifetime, I have buried three people my father of cancer, my grandfather of a heart attack and Steve. They were all painful to deal with, but Steve’s death was the worst. It was the worst because I could have prevented it. I couldn’t have stopped my grandfather’s heart attack or my father’s battle with cancer. Those deaths were out of my hands. But my friend’s life was in my hands.
If I had the courage to say “No” one year ago, Steve would still be alive today. He would be playing basketball, lifting weights and chasing women. Now all he is doing is lying six feet underground. No one had the courage back then to say “No” to a trip that ended the life of a student, a friend, a son and a brother.
No one can tell us what to do in life; we are only given options. Sometimes the options are clear-cut, and at other times, we have to look real hard for them. Our decisions are usually based on the outcomes or consequences of the options. If the outcome is positive, we will usually take it. If the outcome is negative, we will probably reject it. So why, then, did I choose to go with my friends? Why did I not stop them from going on a trip that was doomed from the start?
The reason was I was weak and afraid. I was afraid of not being accepted. I was afraid to speak out and the cost of my fear was my friend’s life. Do I blame myself for his death? Yes, I do, because I allowed it to happen. If I would have overcome my fear and said “No,” Steve would be alive today and beating me at poker.
The holiday season is upon us, and that means Christmas eggnog, Hanukkah manashevitz and New Year’s cocktails. During these festive times you may be faced with many tough options. I hope the following grim statistics will make it easier for you to choose the right one.
In 1994, according to statistics compiled by Mothers Against Drunk Driving, 78 of the 124 (or 62.3 percent) New Year’s Day traffic fatalities were alcohol-related. During Thanksgiving, 240 of a total 484 (or 49.6 percent) traffic fatalities were alcohol-related. Between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve, 1,771 of a total 4,333 (or 40.9 percent) traffic fatalities were alcohol-related. During Christmas, 338 people died in traffic crashes, with 181 (53.6 percent) alcohol-related.
The extremely sad part about these horrible crashes is they all could have been prevented if someone had stood up and said “No.” During the period of 1982 through 1994, approximately 283,000 people lost their lives in alcohol-related traffic crashes.
Despite all the shattered windshields and shattered lives, there is good news. The number of intoxicated drivers killed in traffic crashes decreased from 10,825 in 1982 to 7,281 in 1994, a reduction of 33 percent. In fatal crashes, the proportion of drivers who were intoxicated decreased from 27.3 percent in 1984 to 19.3 percent in 1994, a 29 percent decrease. I believe the reason for the decrease is that people are making the right decisions. We are deciding not to drink and drive.
Understand that the word “drunk” means being visibly impaired, such as staggering, slurring speech, etc. Understand that “intoxicated” is a legal term reflecting the amount of alcohol in a person’s blood. In most states, a blood alcohol content (BAC) of .10 percent is required for conviction of drinking and driving. In California, the BAC needed for conviction is .08 percent.
“Impaired” means your ability to think clearly and to react appropriately is not fully functional. According to the American Medical Association, your ability to drive is impaired at .04 to .05 percent. That is 1-1/4 ounces of 80 proof liquor, one 12-ounce can of beer or four ounces of wine per hour.
You have incredible power not only to succeed in life but to protect the ones you love from harm. Protect them better than I protected Steve. Being a friend or family member is more than just gift-giving on the holidays. It’s watching out for each other.
At times it may be you on one side and five on the other. But if you stand by your beliefs, the outcome wil be six on one side and zero on the other. If I would have stood by my beliefs, Steve would still be alive today. Let your vision of the future be your strength for the present. Make the right choice. Don’t drink and drive.
