Reggie Ellis is a journalism seniorSend comments to: daletter@mail.sdsu.edu

Ever since coming to San Diego two years ago, I’ve noticed thatpeople from urban areas think they are superior to those that comefrom rural areas.

At first, I was hesitant to tell people I was from Hanford(Cowtown), Calif., but then I realized that there are just as manyclueless yuppies here as there are ditchbank oakies in cowtown. Thereare many examples of the malleable San Diego frame of mind, butsticking with the theme of urban legends, I will narrow my focus tocow-tipping.

Thefirst time I said I was from the Central Valley people said, “Wherethe hell is that?” … but the next time I told them they asked,”Have you been cow-tipping?”

They thought this was very funny and that it was some kind ofbig-city inside joke that hicks from the farm weren’t privy to. Theythought it was funny and extremely sad, that rednecks were tickled,from their toes up to their rednecks, with tipping over dumb animals.

I never say anything, but I have been laughing about it for twoyears and I am to tell you the punchline because I have to share it.

Cow-tipping is a huge inside joke that rednecks use to dupe thefar-superior urbanized person. In a small community, of 30,000people, like Cowtown, inside jokes are a big deal and cow-tipping isthe biggest.

If you aren’t familiar with cow-tipping, it amounts to severalpeople piling in a car, driving to a pasture, sneaking up to asleeping, standing cow and pushing the cow until it tips over. Theneveryone runs away, piles back in the car and drives away.

However, what really happens is a new kid moves into town and agenerous group of guys decide to “allow” him to go on a cow-tippingtrip with them. So, they all drive way out into the countryside inthe middle of the night and “allow” the new guy to have a crack at iton his own. Once the unsuspecting moron walks up to the cow the carfull of jokers drives off leaving the outsider clueless as to wherehe is and how to get back to town.

And just in case you’re wondering, no he doesn’t tip over the cowanyway. For your information cows do not sleep standing up — that’shorses. Cows sleep lying down and are light sleepers. Cows also weighfrom 1,500 to 1,800 pounds. According to Dr. Tom McDonough of Skepticmagazine this would be like trying to tip over a refrigerator loadedwith 900 pounds — and you only get one chance.

Another thing people fail to consider is that the cow is not goingto stand still as you and your friends drive up in car, walk up tothe cow, put your hands on the cow … and you get the picture.

Cows are easily scared. Cows are also stupid and fear spreads fastthrough large witless groups (Y2K, anyone?). But you’ll really be introuble (besides the mammoth cowpies you would be in already) if onecow starts to run and a stampede ensues. If you think the running ofthe bulls is intense try starting the run surrounded by 300 fat,scared, stupid animals with a ton (literally) of momentum.

So, in other words, the joke’s on you and your idiotic, fainedsouthern accents. We don’t live in the south, we live farther norththan you do.

This column is the opinion of the columnist and not The DailyAztec.