Take her word: Rumors of a Justin-Britney split have been deniedby Spears. Since we all know a Britney Spears denial is as good asgold, we’ll let it go at that. Timberlake did not dump her, eventhough they are not having sex, and her breasts are not enhanced, andshe does not lip-sync and she does not think Lance is the hottestanyhow, and she is not a girl and not yet a woman and she does NOTtouch herself.
Who you callin’ trash?: Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie havejust adopted their first child, according to Jolie’s father. TheCambodian baby is 7-and-a-half months old and named Maddox. Afterjust three days with the couple, Maddox is wearing his mother’sunderwear, drinks a half-gallon of bourbon a day and is preparing toshow his tits in an upcoming film.
Roll on: Rollerball continued its steady climb to profitability,earning $193,106 to finish No. 34 at the box office this weekend.Estimates place the film’s budget around $140 million. With thisweekend’s burst — spurred by Academy Award nominations — JohnMcTiernan’s film has grossed $18 million, or roughly the amount spenton L.L. Cool J’s porn addiction.
Coming out Rosie: Rosie O’Donnell will officially “come out of thecloset” tonight on Primetime Thursday with Diane Sawyer. This news isexpected to be the missing link in the Middle East peace talks. SaysO’Donnell: “I just couldn’t fit in the closet anymore. We triedfinding bigger closets, but I just eat and eat. It’s a disease. Helpme, Oprah.”
Haiku Review
The Osbournes
The next episode:
Ozzy meets wacky neighbor
“F**k, it’s F**k’n Urkel”
Bros
Hot younger sister?
One friend with a white-boy fro?
You might be a bro.
Lent
Forty days without
What should I give up this year?
I know! Josh Hartnett.
Spotlight
Legendary San Diego band The Down’s Family reunites for St.Patrick’s day. This Irish/ Punk Rock hybrid held court in San Diegofor more than eight years before slipping into semi-retirement. TheirGuiness-soaked history reads like an episode of VH1’s Behind TheMusic, and back in the day Flogging Molly used to open for theseboys. They are playing The ShamRock Festival, San Diego’s St. Patty’sDay Parade and Tio Leo’s (where they hold a record for selling themost Guiness and Jameson’s in the venue’s history).
Around Town
Ticketholders from the tweaked Strokes show can get tickets for amake-up performance by showing a ticket stub or proof of purchase atthe 4th and B box office by 5 p.m. tomorrow. Tickets for the showwill go on sale Saturday.
Starting today: All Tomorrow’s Parties, possibly the greatest showever, is at UCLA. The four-day event features, among others, EddieVedder and Steven Malkmus tomorrow; Big Star and Sleater-KinneySaturday; and Stereolab and Sonic Youth Sunday. For tix and info, goto www.wayahead.com/atp.
Tonight: It can’t be repeated enough: Rosie will come out onPrimetime Thursday with Diane Sawyer. Also, Cat Power tonight at theCasbah. No comment on her sexuality, but the show will rock all thesame. 619-234-HELL.
–Compiled by Sam
“I’m Really Not a Bro” Miller
