Monopoly might be the worst board game ever invented. If you can find one person, besides my boyfriend, who actually likes the game, I will write my next column on the topic of your choice.

Don’t get me wrong; I love a good game night with friends, alcohol pending. Some friends came to play Scattergories a few weeks ago and I swear I’ve never heard such funny answers in my entire life. One team consisted of our friend from Brazil and her counterpart. They thought they were a powerhouse, yet they were making up answers that didn’t even sound real, many bringing us to verge of tears.

But, back to the bigger topic at hand: the game of the devil.

I believe board games should inspire fun and laughter. Monopoly does the opposite. I get angry before the dice roll when my sister accuses me of taking extra money at the start because I’m generally the banker.

But, before this happens, a war is waged among players concerning which stupid, meaningless token they want to represent them. Oftentimes, the iconic pieces seldom mirror the players who choose them. Mothers picking race cars and boys picking irons, Monopoly continues to distort reality and its perceptions.

Monopoly inspires and empowers the greedy. It’s also a breeding ground for distrust and can destroy relationships of all kinds. Most people who play quickly become liars, cheaters and thieves. If you don’t believe me then you have never played the game. Even the most honest people adhere to these monopolistic stereotypes.

“I will scrap onto every mortgage, dollar and “Get Out of Jail Free’ card that I can.” Those very words came straight out of my boyfriend’s mouth, proving the aforementioned stereotypes. But, he admits that he’s never actually read the rules, which leaves me wondering why he doesn’t understand my refusal to play.

I told him that if he wants to kill our relationship this early, then by all means, let’s play. He must have realized what “added relationship benefits” he would have been forfeiting. Needless to say, I won that argument.

Have you ever realized the shortest game of Monopoly ever played has to be no less than four hours? I don’t know how people stay entertained when all you do is go around and around, praying you don’t land on St. James Place with the hotel.

Although there are about five billion versions of the game to date, the only Monopoly I’ll agree to play is at McDonald’s. I’ll continue to pray that one day I’ll win something more than free fries, as long as I don’t start resembling the guy from “Super Size Me.” Who knows, perhaps I’ll win the $1 million and my views of Monopoly will sway away from an intense hatred to a begrudging acceptance.

8212;Mallory Sharp is a journalism junior.

8212;This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.