Courtesy PhotoPITTSBURGH, Pa. – Remember Tori Spelling, the actress who played virginal Donna Martin on “Beverly Hills, 90210?” You know, the same show that her father, Aaron Spelling, produced? As of April 2, she has her own reality TV series.
“So NoTORIous” is VH1’s latest “Celebreality” show, but it deviates from the network’s standard formula of filming celebrities in humiliating situations – at least real ones.
Spelling’s show is scripted, like HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Instead of camera interviews with former “Brady Bunch” actors, viewers get a fictional day in the life of Tori Spelling. This difference, combined with good writing, makes “So NoTORIous” funny enough to watch.
In the premiere episode, “Plucky,” Spelling addresses the public’s perceptions of her.
Yes, she’s spoiled. While Spelling shops at Kitson, a famous Hollywood boutique, she announces to her best friend, Janey, that she’s paying for a brand new condo with her own money “that (she) earned from being on (her) daddy’s TV show.”
No, she can’t get a good job without daddy’s help. Though Mr. Spelling keeps hinting “there’s always room for another witch on ‘Charmed,'” Spelling refuses to partake in nepotism again. Instead she opts to slug it out on her own by starring in ridiculous dramas on the Lifetime channel.
The best spoof, though, is Spelling’s relationship with her mother, Candy, played by Loni Anderson. Other than her name being Kiki in the show, she’s exactly how you’d imagine Spelling’s mother might look – bleached blond hair, bloated lips and a Michael Jackson-like nose.
In the first two episodes, it becomes clear through Spelling’s disturbing flashbacks that Kiki is delightfully evil. In episode one, 8-year-old Spelling presents her mother with a macaroni necklace. Kiki sighs, “Oh, Toto, you know I don’t wear starches,” then instructs her to give the necklace to Nanny, the longtime family servant.
Why Kiki calls Spelling “Toto” is never explained, but because it’s the name of a famous dog, the moniker is both mean and inexplicably hilarious.
In these flashbacks, by the way, Spelling is often dressed head to toe in sequins, heels and a fur coat, like an old woman bound for Vegas.
Later, when Kiki complains of not having enough room in her vast mansion, Spelling cries, “Mother! You have 64,000 square feet!”
Kiki responds, “64,500, and it’s getting tight. We may have to move nanny to the basement.”
No wonder Spelling’s parents are rumored not to be speaking to her since “So NoTORIous'” inception.
Although commentary on Spelling’s real love life (her husband just filed for divorce after an extravagant wedding and 15 months of marriage) is conspicuously absent from the show, viewers will forgive the omission because of how far Spelling lets the writers go when it comes to other subjects, even her looks.
In one of the show’s best moments, Janey explains to Spelling, “Nobody thinks you have an eating disorder, just that your head weighs more than your body.”
The line is so funny because it’s true – Spelling has fake hair, fake breasts and a compulsive need to wear pink, but her body’s lollipop shape is what makes her truly odd-looking.
In the second episode, “Whole,” Spelling falls for Scott, a lighting guy on the set of her latest TV drama. He takes her to a religious gathering in the name of “Wholeness,” an obvious parody of Scientology. Janey makes fun of Spelling for going, but she defends it by insisting, “Wholeness is a religion! Well, ish.” In Spelling’s world, “ish” functions as both a suffix and a word.
At the meeting, a preacher points to people in a circle and asks what keeps each of them from being “relevant” while John Tesh-inspired music plays in the background. One guest is a meth addict, another is a pregnant sex addict, but Spelling still has them beat.
“I’m a, I’m a Tori Spelling,” she murmurs, and the group breaks into compassionate sobs. Soon after, Spelling rejects “Wholeness” because the preacher won’t let her dress her pug, Mimi La Rue, in designer clothes.
While the show’s writers aim to make fun of people besides Spelling, it’s clear the joke’s still ultimately on her. And that’s good, because Spelling’s performance manages to be self-deprecating without being pathetic. Maybe that’s because she plays herself with the same sweet-tempered, innocent disposition of “90210’s” Donna in relation to her own troubled life, instead of a script from one of daddy’s TV shows.
