Now I’ve heard and seen some ridiculous things in my time: the Florida Marlins winning two World Series, PBS prematurely canceling “Fraggle Rock” and, if you fold a piece of paper in half 44 times, it will reach the moon (turns out this is theoretically true).
But hearing about Southwest Airlines threatening to kick a girl off a plane because of what she was wearing is definitely cracking my all-time top three.
For those who missed the story: After receiving a complaint, Southwest asked Kyla Ebbert to cover up her “revealing” attire or depart the plane. Ebbert was only allowed to fly after she complied with the request.
This is wrong on so many levels that I’m having trouble figuring out where to begin. I guess I’ll start with the complainer. I’ve seen what this woman was wearing and if it offended someone, I would whole-heartedly suggest he or she never set foot on a college campus – especially our campus. Just stick around the bingo halls to be safe.
Even if she was wearing a bikini bottom with glitter-covered shells covering her nipples, nobody should be saying anything. It’s not as if she smells like rotten seafood and is inducing passengers to vomit all over the plane. That, my friends, would be a legitimate concern. A miniskirt and tight shirt – not so much.
Besides, when everyone is seated, only two, maybe three people can see you. And even if these three individuals are bothered, they can just flip through “Sky Mall” and buy a hot dog toaster or water-dumbbell set.
It’s funny that Southwest, which once flaunted booty-short wearing flight attendants, would have the gall to tell this girl to cover up.
In the end, all the girl wanted from Southwest was an apology for the way they embarrassed her and the Orwellian-style treatment. Which is amazing because I would have demanded two free years of flying and a reserved chair fashioned like a throne.
What’d she get? A formal letter response basically saying they had nothing to apologize for and it’s up to the attendants to decide what is OK. I thought that at the very least she would get a free flight or a lifetime of “A” boarding passes, not Joe-Lawyer empowering flight attendants as fashion police while bashing her character.
Do the flight attendants meet every month in some clandestine hotel ballroom to discuss secret dress codes and what items to look out for next month? Just what is the level of organization? Is this where they practice the stupid songs they sing each flight? And why do I keep imagining a frail old man and woman from the first commercial flights presiding over the group?
I want these questions answered. Where is our whistle-blower?
Until the truth is revealed, be cautious while planning what to wear when you enter the realm of Southwest Airlines – you never know what clothing agenda they’ll push next. Better just wear a turtleneck to be safe.
-Drew Hendrickson is a psychology senior.
-This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.
