San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec

San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec




San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913

The Daily Aztec

Undeclared Insight

Gay frats taking ‘Go Greek’ theme toofar

Elliot HoltContributor

1. Did you know SDSU has a gay frat? I think they’re taking this”Go Greek” thing a little too far.

2. I’ve heard Zura used to be an insane asylum. Yeah, I believethat about as much as I believe that my high school used to be awomen’s prison or that my preschool used to be a strip club. (ButZura is haunted.)

3. Johnny “the Dumbass” Republican says, “Sweatshops are good forThird World countries. Seven year olds need 16 hours of slave laboreach day to get all the exercise they need.” Yeah, I bet the PhilipMorris medical group says the emissions from factories are good forkids because they give them all the vitamins and minerals they need.And 25 cents per hour is a lot of money. Back in 1907, mygreat-grandfather made 25 cents per hour and he did just fine.(Students Against Sweatshops Pride!!!).

4. Last time I talked to one of those Army recruiting guys, I toldhim I was going to major in art, and he said, “Well, the Army canhelp with your organization skills in art.” Next time, I’ll tell himI’m majoring in modern dance theory just to see how creative he is.

5. Registrar’s Office: “I’m sorry, Mr. Holt, but you can’tregister for classes until you get the TB immunization.” Aka, “Youbetter get your bitchass to the health clinic before the only classleft to sign up for is The History of Pottery 101.”

6. Who the hell wakes up in the morning and says, “Hey, I got anidea. Why don’t I go drive to the store and buy some superglue andthen superglue the elevator buttons in?” If this applies to you,please turn yourself in to the ass-clown police.

7. I can’t believe people in my classes just zip up theirbackpacks and leave a class while the professor is talking. You maybe bored, but when you check Regline for your grades, you’ll be outof luck. We all know the Periodic Table is boring as crap, but thatjust means that you need to handcuff your leg to your desk.

8. Elliot Holt: “Are we lost again, dawg?” Elliot’s friend: “Nawman, I ain’t lost, I think the frat’s name was Phi something …or maybe it was Kappa something?” EH: “Well, do you at least know theaddress?” Friend: “Yeah, it was something-something University Avenue… or maybe it was Montezuma Road. Oh crap, man, we’re lost.” (Ineed new friends.)

9. My friend Buckman’s funniest pick-up lines: 1. “How do you likeyour eggs, scrambled or fertilized?” 2. “Is that a mirror in yourback pocket, ’cause I can see myself in your pants.”

10. I’m never taking another statistics class. You couldn’t get meto take another statistics class again if you super-glued my nippleto a cannon ball and shot it into the classroom.

11. I’m a freshman, which means that I’m too broke to buy anumbrella. When it rains, The Daily Aztec is my umbrella.

12. Many SDSUers say marijuana is an addiction. What the hell isthat? Weed isn’t an addiction. The computer game “Freecell” is anaddiction.

13. This semester, SDSU had a Satan and Satanism class. What’snext, Taliban 101?

–Elliot Holt is an undeclared freshman.

–This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of TheDaily Aztec. Send e-mail to letters@thedailyaztec.com.Anonymous letters will not be printed — include your full name,major and year in school.

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San Diego State University’s Independent Student Newspaper Since 1913
Undeclared Insight