Dedicated at the Dome: I have a super busy schedule. I work, volunteer, intern and I’m a full-time student. My boyfriend isn’t very busy and he thinks I don’t spend enough time with him. I don’t want to give up everything. I do to be with him, but I also don’t want to lose him. How do I handle this?
Love Guru: When it comes to balancing school, a social life and sleep, one of the three always ends up neglected or pushed down the priority list. I call this the triangle of inevitable neglect. Relationships are already difficult, even when you don’t have a million things going on around you. The last thing you want to do is add extra responsibility. At the same time, your boyfriend deserves to have a significant other who makes time for him. I suggest you try explaining the level of stress you’re feeling and that if you had the time, you’d like nothing more than to spend it with him. When you do have the time, make sure to enjoy it with him without thinking of your seemingly endless to-do list. Do something fun and out of the ordinary to relieve your stress and keep the embers burning between the two of you. If a free weekend opens up, take a mini roadtrip together. If that’s not an option, show him he’s on your mind with small, thoughtful gestures. Do your part to try and keep the relationship afloat and the rest will boil down to how understanding he is. Your boyfriend will respect you for balancing schoolwork and other things in your life. If he doesn’t, then continue with what you’re doing, but don’t give up your hard work for someone who doesn’t appreciate your ambition.
Clingy in Calpulli: I just got accepted into the study abroad program but I don’t know if I can be away from my boyfriend for a whole semester. Should I go?
Love Guru: Go! Opportunities like this don’t come around everyday. Distance does make it difficult to maintain a relationship, but it is not impossible. I’m sure your boyfriend would not want you to turn down this experience just because of him. Talk to him about it because he most likely wants the best for you. Besides, if he is “the one,” he’ll be waiting for you when you come home.
No trust in Tenocha: My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now and she still doesn’t trust me. She is trying to regulate my social life by telling me who I can and can’t hang out with or who I can befriend on Facebook for instance. I really don’t want this to ruin our relationship because I really do love her. What should I do?
Love Guru: Getting toayearisahuge accomplishment, but the relationship can still have complications. A lot of people tend to become insecure with their relationship once it starts getting serious. Some people are scared something will damage the work put into it.
The fact that your girlfriend is becoming so strict is a sign she needs you to reassure her you’re in the relationship until the end. She might have been hurt in the past or possibly cheated on and doesn’t want to go through heartbreak and pain again. What can you do? Sit down with her and tell her what is bothering you. If you’re open with her, she will make sure to \open up to you and you’ll be able to get to the bottom of her insecurity. Be patient, but also be firm. You might get into a few fights, but that comes along with change. If it’s meant to be be, stronger relationship will and the trust your issues will be a thing of the past.
Olmeca one-night stand: The past few guys I’ve met have been quick flings with no real promise of anything serious in the future. I’m sick of these though and am ready for a commitment. How doIfindaguywhowantstofind a relationship without scaring him off first? What could I be doing wrong?
Love Guru: Unfortunately for women, good men don’t have large flashing signs above their heads reading, “willing to commit” or “wife me up.” There’s no app for that yet. In the meantime, you don’t need to tap into your inner Nancy Drew and analyze the boyfriend potential of every guy you meet. Here’s what I think:
1. Try a coffee shop instead of a bar to find a better catch. You may find a good guy at a place like the Living Room. At bars, most of the men there aren’t looking for a soul mate, and alcohol can impair your judgment. Go to bars for d2rinks, not to find a boyfriend.
2. Remember, love is patient. Even if you meet a guy who wants a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily indicate a match. Take the time to learn more about the man, beyond his five-year plan. By the time you get a good grasp on who he is, you’ll be far enough along not to scare h3im off. Welcome the adventure!
3. Don’t spill all the beans. A good way to avoid a fling is to preserve your mystery. He doesn’t need to know everything about you on the first night. Leave something to come back for.
