Women around the world can finally go to work in peace. Well, at least women in the vicinity of San Diego City Hall. Mayor Bob Filner has finally agreed to step down from his office as the head of our beautiful city effective Friday. As the icing on the cake, he faces possible criminal charges for his alleged sexual misconduct. His 18 accusers, including the dean of San Diego State’s College of Professional Studies and Fine Arts, can be assured that Filner will pay the price for his disturbing, unwelcomed advances.
If you’ve seen the photos of Filner’s harem, you’d notice he doesn’t exactly discriminate when choosing the type of women he goes after. Mainly, there are two criteria: female, and breathing (as far as we know).
The point is sexual harassment can come at any point in your life, even at a more seasoned age, like these ladies. But age doesn’t actually matter, since it’s all about how you handle the situation. What’s even better is if the actions on his part can be avoided entirely. So here’s some advice that’s a little late for Filner’s Foxy Females, but could definitely help women who face this problem every day in a variety of circumstances.
SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
Women in a male-dominated field are always in a tough place. Any woman who has ever been there knows it’s a “boys club,” meaning they have their own archaic way of doing things and their own sense of humor. That’s all fine and dandy until someone crosses the line. When that happens, it opens the doors for sexual harassment cases. The most important thing you can do as a woman is to know what those boundaries are, and make them clear.
Say when you are not comfortable with the situation. It’s a lot easier for would-be harassers to understand what not to do when you spell things out for them. A quick, “That’s completely inappropriate and I don’t appreciate it,” would suffice. It’s even better if coworkers are around to hear the exchange. Had this happened with Filner, let’s say 20 years ago, it would have been the end of his political career.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP
“He licked my cheek,” “He told me not to wear panties to work,” “He groped me.” Personally, I don’t really get how these women could wait years to come forward about Filner’s blatant creepiness. Did they think it was no big deal? Did they think no one would believe them? I’m betting that since most of them are women in high authority positions, the fear of losing their credibility or their jobs was very real. But so what? Women, your bodies are precious. No man should ever feel like they have the ability to take away your rights. Say one of Filner’s women had come forward as soon as he put them in his disgusting headlock. He would have been reprimanded and it would have kept other women from meeting the same sad, embarrassing fate. Waiting for years for someone else to stand against him was not a smart choice for anyone. It also helps with your credibility to shed light on the incident as soon as possible, whereas waiting several years before saying anything makes it seem like you’re just looking for your 15 minutes of fame.
DON’T ENCOURAGE THE BEHAVIOR
This is in no way saying women who are sexually harassed ask for or welcome advances in any way. Still, what may equate to being a nice person from your perspective can easily mean something else to another person. Sometimes smiling at them, laughing at their jokes and making small talk registers in their minds as a green light for them to make advances towards you. When they get to this point, it’s important to clarify your boundaries by adjusting your actions towards them, however small those actions may be. The downside to this is that if the person is someone with more power than you, such as a professor or a mayor, they may not take kindly to you ignoring them.
And when all else fails:
LEARN TAE KWON DO
Seriously ladies. Every woman needs to know how to defend herself, but be reasonable with it. There’s no need to karate chop a guy if he shakes your hand. Know what your personal space is, and when it’s being violated. Trust me, a few strategically placed blows will make him think twice about even looking at you again.
