Many of us might have heard, “Greek life or no life!” Although Greek life is huge at San Diego State University, there is a way to have a social life without having to pledge.
Once while I was walking to an Aztec Market, some parents approached me and my friend to ask us about how their daughter can make friends without being in a sorority. They told us that their daughter is not interested in the party scene but doesn’t want to be friendless.
Even before starting school at SDSU, the rumored promise of friendship and a pleasurable college experience from rushing looms over the minds of incoming students. Both incoming and returning students alike shouldn’t feel that committing to Greek life is the only way to enjoy their time in college.
I remember my first few weeks at SDSU. The only people who seemed to have everything together were the sorority girls. Not knowing anyone or much about the activities on campus, I wished to feel involved like them.
I started to contemplate joining a sorority, that way I’d be “in” and would know about social gatherings; however, I also passed by Frat Row a couple of times and knew that the party scene was not for me.
These parties sometimes result in injuries and have even ended up with those frats being suspended. I did not want to be involved with any incidents that may have occurred at a party.
Forgetting the party scene, being involved in a sorority is a huge commitment. There are mandatory events and meetings required for members that take up a lot of time.
I’d overhear girls in the bathroom saying that they didn’t want to go out but they “had to.” Hearing this made me feel uneasy. I didn’t want to join something just to be in the know and always feel pressured to do something I didn’t want to.
I don’t mean for this to sound like a bash towards those in Greek life. The decision to join a fraternity or sorority is completely personal. Some might join for the range of activities and networking opportunities provided.
Aside from not wanting to party, it’s no secret that there’s lots of drinking involved at these parties. Call me lame, but drinking isn’t my thing. So, how could I fit in without losing my identity?
Well, you can’t fit in. There are so many people and groups on campus that one couldn’t possibly know them all. And even then, you can’t please everyone. I guess I was still stuck in the high school mindset that there’s a popular group I have to impress, and that group is the fraternities and sororities.
It might be easy to feel the need to impress those involved in Greek life, but the truth is, people are busy doing their own thing, no one’s watching you. Be yourself and don’t worry about what someone else may think.
It took me about a month to figure this out. For some reason after realizing this, I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Yeah, I don’t party and, no, I don’t feel lame for not doing so.
Partying isn’t the only way to have fun. We go to school in San Diego, there is so much the city has to offer. You could hop on the trolley with some friends, and explore different parts of the city like Old Town or Little Italy.
Feeling more confident with myself, I started talking to people in my classes and looking up clubs to join. I joined clubs specific to my major and have had fun in them. This way, I would make friends I genuinely get along with who wouldn’t pressure me to change myself.
I don’t doubt that there are genuine friendships formed between members of the same organization, but the person you meet at the party may not be the same outside of that scene.
Some people might not find where they belong within SDSU during their first year, and there’s no problem with that. As freshmen are settling in and students are returning for the new school year, I want to remind them that it might take time to get adjusted and find your people.
