The life of a homeless person is not that different from that of a San Diego State student.

For many, college is their first time living on their own and going straight from daily pancakes in mom’s kitchen to “beerios” (it’s exactly what it sounds like) for breakfast can be a tough transition.

It is always best when presented with a big change, however, to weigh all of your options. For student housing there are residence halls, off-campus apartments, rental houses with your friends or, God forbid, a fraternity house.

But why not choose homelessness? Hear me out.

Let’s face it. Students at SDSU are not known for saying things such as, “Oh, none for me tonight. I’ll just be staying in,” or “You know, I’d rather just stay home and read a book I think,” – or even the word “rather.”

Therefore, how much easier would it be to just crash in the alley when stumbling home? You’re already home. And don’t say there’s no stability in that lifestyle, you’ll always have a furry, feral, feline friend somewhere to curl up with. Plus I’ve heard hipsters have deemed cats the new “it” pet (double points for you!).

Don’t worry about cold nights – it’s San Diego. And if for some reason you feel a chill, grab a big stack of The Daily Aztec to crumple and use to line your jacket (they’re free and crumple nicely); pair that with Scotch and you’ll be OK.

Of course, one also needs to eat.

Now, I can’t say that I’ve had the pleasure of eating at one of SDSU’s fine dining halls. But, I’m sure the glazed-over, expressionless zombies walking in after a weekend of partying around SDSU is not far off from the interesting characters at a downtown soup kitchen – but at least your crowd of unfortunate eccentrics could share a few good war stories.

Plus, we can’t ignore the outrageous gas prices these days.

At this point, living off campus and commuting to school costs more than a young bride in some countries. But, setting up camp somewhere near campus could be a real money-saver – money best saved for your next keg contribution or your “agriculture” hobby.

Come on, old homeless Joe wandering around downtown half hungover, half drunk is not that much different from your hygienically questionable roommate. So students of SDSU, why don’t you give homelessness a chance?

-Sarah Kovash is a journalism senior.

-The views expressed in this farce are not necessarily those of The Daily Aztec.