Time to spackle spindly fake cobwebs to your windows and droop creepy paper spiders above your doorstep. Time to set the bathroom scale back five pounds and purchase your weight in Milky Way Midnights. And ladies, it’s once again time to shell out 70 bucks for sexy Snow White costumes.

Provocative costumes on Halloween are as time-honored as turkey on Thanksgiving. There are the classics: the sexy French maids, the skanky nurses and cops and the naughty schoolgirl (which now has a literary twist with the Harry Potter series).

But what happens if you don’t have enough financial aid for one of those $70 slut-in-a-bag costumes at Party City and you recently donated your Bongo boots to charity?

Here are some ideas:

Why not just get a big black wig, a cigar and kneepads and go as Monica Lewinsky?

Guys, go in drag: Borrow your roommates’ best sundress. Girls will be too busy trying to figure out if you’re actually gay to be threatened by a one-nighter.
For the cost of blue body paint and yellow contact lenses, you could go as Rebecca Romijn’s character in X-Men. Who doesn’t want to be Rebecca Romijn?

If coming up with an original Halloween costume is too much work, be creative. Dress like a “ho” for Christmas this year instead of Halloween. Wait a month or two, then purchase a super-mini red Santa’s helper dress, make some Snugglies (peppermint schnapps and hot cocoa) and get about 10 of your friends to do the same. The advantages? You won’t have to compete with any other girls and, because no one will be expecting it, Christmas Eve will be a pleasant surprise for all the guys.

Scientists don’t know what it is exactly about Halloween that turns the world upside down, but the answer lies in the power of the costume. Suddenly, for one night of the year, accepting candy from strangers is encouraged, straight guys can wear Lycra and Snickers have no calories.

&-Wendy Fry is a journalism senior.

&-This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.