Kallie Larsen / Staff PhotographerDTR 8212; This acronym sends chills up my spine. “Why,” you ask? Because “Defining The Relationship” isn’t an easy task. Dating can be hard enough without all the terminology adding stress into the mix.
Many words can have multiple meanings and some specific dating terms can actually cause many problems for a healthy relationship. Web sites, such as Facebook or MySpace, provoke us to define our status: “single,” “in a relationship,” “in an open relationship” or better yet, “it’s complicated.”
Some couples say they are hooking up. Wow, what a broad term. That can mean anything from kissing to having sexual relations. Does this mean that while you’re chatting with your girlfriend over caramel macchiatos and you mention that you hooked up with a guy last night, she is automatically going to assume you had sex? Oh boy.
And what about friends with benefits? What exactly are the benefits and are there any boundaries to them? To most, being a friend with benefits allows one to have sexual flings denoting physical attraction without the emotional attachments 8212; I consider this sex without dinner and a movie. I also consider this pointless.
Some titles such as boyfriend and girlfriend are alarming because they depict being in a committed, honest relationship. This scares off many individuals because it may compromise their independence and freedom. However, San Diego State psychology senior Danielle Riffenburgh believes differently.
“If you have been dating someone for a considerable amount of time, most likely, you have exhausted the option of seeing other people or staying single. If there is something special about the other person then why would adding titles cause drama within the relationship?” Riffenburgh said.
Terms like “seriously dating” can also differ for each person. SDSU liberal studies sophomore, Jordanne Dale, considers a serious relationship to be a “long-lasting, faithful connection between two individuals.” On the other hand, SDSU economics senior, Matthew Sullivan, believes that a “serious relationship involves more intimacy with the other person.”
“This kind of romance doesn’t require obligation and isn’t broadcasted on Facebook or MySpace. You are a better person when you’re around them and enjoy their company,” Sullivan said.
To a woman, being serious is more about an emotional connection; however, to a man, it may be a little more physical. What about Facebook’s term, “it’s complicated?” You’re either together or you’re not, right?
Wrong. Dale suggests “it’s complicated” is a combination of both being with someone and seeing other people as well; in other words, dating around.
This works for many couples because it doesn’t put restrictions on your relationship and gives you the freedom to see who else is out there. Unfortunately, the only downfall to this situation is when feelings or emotional ties start to form.
To others, “it’s complicated” can suggest a negative situation which in most cases, people probably don’t need to read about on Facebook.
Obviously, girls are from Venus and guys are from Mars; we think differently when it comes to basically everything, including dating terms.
So how are we going to fix these problems? Simply by communicating with the other person. Tell them your intentions and make everything crystal clear. The only way to eliminate the ambiguity of these terms is by DTR-ing.
This seems a tad ironic because even eliminating the use of dating terminology asks for a name, complicated, friends with benefits or casually dating. I wouldn’t stress too much if your man calls you his girlfriend around his friends or vice versa. As long as you communicate with each other there shouldn’t be any dating term drama.
8212;Kristal Conn is a journalism sophomore.
8212;This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.
