The second someone asks me what my favorite movie is, I fall into an earth-shattering panic attack. How could anyone possibly expect me to catalogue every movie I’ve ever seen and pick one winner out of, literally, the thousands I’ve seen? I’ve got my top three and they’re classics. The No. 1 spot goes to “Almost Famous.” Not only is it my dream to one day be William Miller and/or Penny Lane (preferably at different times), but also because I am not-so-secretly in love with Russell Hammond and I can’t believe “Fever Dog” isn’t a real song. In a close second would be “The Big Lebowski”—not just because my father worked on the film or even because there is a cameo made by yours truly as a Little Lebowski Urban Achiever, but because it’s one of the funniest and most easily quoted movies I’ve ever seen. Spot three goes to a movie called “Wet Hot American Summer” and all you really need to know is that it’s about the last day at a Jewish summer camp in 1981 and if that’s not enough to catch your attention and immediately go home and stream it on your Xbox then, well, you’re doing it wrong. Once I get past the third spot, however, things get a little weird.

Most of the time when this conversation takes place, if people list off a movie made in the last few years, I scoff. I don’t really understand how a film that hasn’t been seen 1,000 times can even be categorized as a “favorite” and most people can’t watch a movie so recently made that many times, right? Wrong. I never thought it would be possible, but a movie that came out just last year took the No. 4 spot on my list.

The first time I saw “The Cabin In The Woods,” I was on a really bad date. It was our second date, so it was partly my fault for not catching the fact that there was no connection sooner, but we’re not here to point out the flaws in my dating strategies, alright? Anyways, he took me to see this movie because I had heard through the grapevine that it was really worth seeing, despite its trailer presenting it as a carbon copy of just about every horror movie ever made.

The first great thing I noticed about the movie was the stunning bromantic connection between Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins’ characters. Their banter is beyond perfect throughout the entire movie and every scene with the two of them in it is my favorite scene in its own right.

The next best thing I noticed, besides the stunning presence of Chris Hemsworth and Jesse Williams (swoon), is the absolute perfection that is Fran Kanz. I had no idea who this dude was, although one night, when I was watching it at home, my roommate came in, saw him on the screen and yelled “Dollhouse!” But after the movie ended, he slowly became my favorite person in the world. He plays the atypical stoner dude with his stoner musings and references and his squinty eyes. But, refreshingly enough, the stoner act isn’t any less annoying than it is absolutely endearing. He’s perfect. End of story.

Besides insanely witty dialogue, absolutely gut wrenchingly hilarious banter and the mind-blowing plot, the movie kept me on the edge of my seat, and it wasn’t just because I was enveloped by the stench of my date’s terribly awful cologne.

I left the theater and basically had to scoop my brains and jaw off the floor because I couldn’t believe how flabbergasted I was at how it all came together. Brilliant was the only word that came to mind.

I loved it so much I saw it twice in theaters, then went out and bought it the day it came out. Who even buys movies anymore? If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know I exaggerate at least 6,000 times a day, but I have literally watched it once a week (sometimes more) since the DVD came out in September. Williams himself even called me out on Twitter for it. Sorry, I’m not sorry!

I’m obsessed. I can’t help myself. And I won’t help myself. I do everything I can to make sure every single person I meet sees it, whether they borrow my copy or I watch it with them. I’m sure you can guess which one happens more often.

And the No. 5 spot on my list goes to “Country Strong.” I know it doesn’t really make sense, but that’s just the kind of person I am.