If you haven’t received a flu shot yet, you’re stupid and deserve to get sick.

Maybe you were dropped on your head when you were younger or maybe you ate too much glue in kindergarten. I don’t pretend to know why you’re stupid, but I know that you are because you haven’t gone to get a flu shot yet.

It takes 20 minutes. Any side effects you most likely won’t feel will be mild and short-lived—unless you’re one to bet on astronomically small odds. We’re talking about your arm being sore for a little bit. You might feel slightly achy or if you’re really unlucky, maybe you’ll feel slightly feverish for a spell. And for you especially stupid people: No, you won’t get the flu from the flu shot.

I’ll try appealing to the money-grubbing side we all know and love: It takes 30 minutes tops to get the shot and it costs $15 at Capulli Center. Let’s say you have a job (you probably don’t, because you’re stupid). It probably pays around $8 an hour (because you’re too stupid to have any marketable skills, so you work for minimum wage at some stupid place). So you sacrifice 30 minutes of work to arrive at the clinic/hospital, plus the $15 to get the shot, so you’re out 19 clams.

Now let’s say you don’t get the shot, relishing your $19, which in your infinite stupidity, you probably blow on something stupid—like rock candy or a disposable camera—but then oh, wait, you get the flu. According to flu.gov, the flu typically lasts for one to two weeks, so you’ll probably have to stay home from work for at least two days. You work eight-hour days, so in those two days you remained home, you lost $128. Counting the $19 you brilliantly saved, your net loss comes to a total of $109.

Don’t be stupid: Save yourself a Benjamin and go get a damn flu shot.

So, if you’ve decided to ignore this warning and continue being stupid, don’t go to class once you get the flu. You should wait until the fever goes away and you’ve stopped taking fever reducers such as Tylenol Advil. I wouldn’t sweat too much about missing class though. In your infinite stupidity, you were probably destined to fail anyway.