Love Guru solves relationship conundrums

by Staff

FML Friend Zone: Dear Love Guru,

Ever since I moved into my apartment last semester, I got the sense that my roommate was interested in me (I’m a girl; he’s a guy): He would do and say little things that raised red flags (bringing flowers home when I was sick, bringing home a bottle of wine on nights when I wasn’t sick). True, he may have just been being thoughtful, but I was still wary nonetheless, so I took extra care to friend zone him and not send any kind of romantic signals his way. About a week ago, he asked me out on a date and I had to say no. Now it’s really awkward whenever we’re in the apartment together. How do I help ease the tension and restore a comfortable atmosphere at home?

 Love Guru: For a guy, being “friend zoned” is one of the most difficult things to handle, so I’m not surprised things are awkward in the apartment. My best advice would be to sit down and talk (if you haven’t already) about how you feel regarding the awkwardness of the situation. Tell him you can’t continue living this way, and that you miss how things were before. If he brings home any more wine, humor him by having a glass together, but just be friendly. Try to have other friends around when he’s there as well, because being one-on-one with him is where things are going to be the most awkward. It doesn’t sound like he is willing to make the effort to eliminate the awkwardness, so it’s up to you. You’re going to have to be friendly and do your best to make him feel better.

Luckily for you, I have just the solution to make him stop being such a Debbie Downer—set him up on a date! If you did that, not only would he most likely be super grateful, but it would drastically help him accept the fact that you want to just be friends.

Teenaged Dream: I recently met a guy at a party and we hit it off pretty quickly. We get along really well and our personalities just seem to click. The problem is, he’s 18 and I’m 21. In all of my dating experiences, I’ve always had a general rule to never date anyone younger than me. But with this new guy, I don’t seem to mind our age difference so much. In the time we spend together, I almost forget the issue altogether. I am starting to really like him, but I don’t know what other people will think of the two of us together. What do you think? Does age even matter anymore?

Love Guru: It’s 2013. We’ve come a long way from the ancient dating rituals reminiscent of our parents’ and grandparents’ generations. We see celebrities, political figures and others in the public eye marrying people outside of their age brackets all of the time. Does the name Hugh Hefner ring a bell? When you enter the college arena, people’s ages come from all ends of the spectrum, making dating life seem like a giant free-for-all. However, when it comes to a person’s age, it truly depends on the individual. Theoretically, he could be someone who is “wise beyond his years,” or on the flip side, a person who is advanced in years but downright immature. In your case, you have to decide if this guy’s age even reflects his personality at all. But the real issue at hand is the fact that you two are in very different stages of your lives. While you may already have certain life experiences under your belt, you have to realize he may not. As hard as it is, it might be more fair to let him have those experiences instead of only thinking of yourself and how he makes you feel. Remain friends, and wait a few years until he is in his 20s’ with you. Then see what happens. As for the future, keep an open mind. Only time will tell.