It’s the end of the world. Well, at least in your mind it is. You and your significant other decided to call it quits and all you want to do is blast depressing music and wallow in self-pity. We’ve all been through it. No matter whose decision it was and regardless of the issues surrounding the breakup, the healing process is not easy. Unfamiliar feelings, such as a pit in your stomach, pain in your heart or even unexplainable anger, are sure to surface. Rather than dashing to the store to designate Ben and Jerry as your newfound lovers, consider these five tips to make this breakup the most productive and least painful one yet.

1. Leave it on good terms (if possible) 

Breakups can be devastating, but it’s important to avoid making harsh comments that you’ll regret later in the heat of the moment. Don’t try to make your ex jealous or play games with him or her. The relationship’s through, so it’s time to stop obsessing about it. Try to maintain a mature and calm demeanor. This doesn’t mean becoming best friends with your ex, it simply means don’t sink to pettiness. Don’t assume how he or she feels and lash out. Everyone shows pain in different ways. Bottom line, you’re going to look like the idiot if you post pictures with a group of guys or girls at a club in an effort to make your ex mad.

2. Look back, but only for a moment 

It’s important to reminisce about the good times from your relationship and focus on the benefits you received from it. One of the most important aspects of losing a boyfriend or girlfriend is finding out what you learned from the relationship. Think of the good times and be grateful for the experience. It’s OK to cry because it’s a method to cleanse yourself emotionally.

But it’s also necessary to direct your attention to the bad. What were the negatives in your relationship? Did your ex lack motivation or not treat you as well as he or she should have? Wrap your head around these negative aspects and use them as tools for moving on. You broke up for a reason and you cannot let that realization be fleeting. Recognize what flaws you won’t settle for again in the future. Overall, be thankful for the experience because it served as a foundation.

3. Know your value

No matter the circumstances of the breakup, there is something you can get out of it. Think about your best qualities and the type of relationship you deserve. There’s no reason to settle. If your ex let you go, then he or she wasn’t good enough to have you in the first place. And if you were the one who made the decision, more power to you for realizing you deserve better. Now that your self-worth is highlighted, do something to make yourself feel better. Whether it’s a massage or a solid workout, you deserve physical and mental rewards.

4. Keep your ex out of sight, out of mind 

As much as you want to know every move your ex makes right now and the new romances coming in and out of his or her life, it’s unhealthy. Don’t look at your ex’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. and don’t even think about texting or calling. You’re in a vulnerable state and any of these actions will most likely result in confusion and a negative attitude. This is your time to be without your ex physically and emotionally. If you attempt to keep tabs on them, all you’re doing is pouring salt into an open wound.

5. Be social and single

Let your friends know what’s going through your mind with the breakup, but don’t make it the center of every conversation. Dwelling on what you’ve lost won’t help you let go. It’s essential to go out and talk to new people. This doesn’t mean it’s time to embrace promiscuity, but it is important to feel confident and see what else is out there. Enjoy the single life and take care of yourself. Don’t try to fill your ex’s missing place by instantly dating a new person. Enjoy life and commit to the most important relationship you currently have: the relationship with yourself.