Starting with the dawn of time, or maybe just since women’s rights were established, women complaining about men being “creepy” at parties has become an incessant annoyance to the top-ranked team in the battle of the sexes.

Apparently one way the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a “creep” is as an “unpleasant or obnoxious person,” which is about as subjective as the opinion of a now-ex (after a harmless ménage à trois) girlfriend.

Last time I checked the rule book of manliness, being unable to look above someone’s neckline was a compliment. Source: pg. 87, paragraph four, section two.

Seriously though, when did talking to a girl become creepy? I’m pretty sure one of the most stereotypical complaints women have of men is that we don’t talk to them enough. Yes, that complaint is completely justified — sometimes (oftentimes) there are just more important things to do with our time, but that’s because we’re men.

All I know is, when I take time away from important sports-viewing, video game-related studies or responsible drinking to talk to women, I expect to not be labeled as “creepy.” I expect to be labeled “heroic.”

Recently, I read that using a line such as the following is a problem:

“Hi, I’m (fill in lucky girl’s name here).” “Hi (lucky girl), I couldn’t help but notice how good you look in that dress.” “Thanks …” “I bet you’d look even better in my bed.”

Before you say that’s “not OK,” let’s assume the man has a Tempurpedic California king-sized mattress. If so, that would obviously not be creepy — those things are damn near orgasmic to lie on, and with a California king-sized mattress, you can comfortably fit a small classroom of hobbits without anyone even touching, not to mention two, three or four normal-sized people.

Although, after lying down on that bad boy, you’re probably going to get some ideas regardless of your initial attraction.

Just accept it women. Not every guy talking to you is trying to “pick you up.” For all you know, you’re being distracted by a wingman so his buddy can pick up the girl standing right behind you. Yeah, I said it — you’re not always the prettiest girl at the party.

What I’m getting at here is women automatically assume any guy talking to them, whom they are not interested in sharing a cab ride home with, is being creepy. At the same time, women constantly complain about men not talking / paying attention to them. Maybe it’s just a self-esteem issue that most women share, but it sounds pretty hypocritical to me.

Men may be the fastest, strongest, and, well, best at nearly everything, but we have no ability to change a woman’s mind. So, women, give us a break when it comes to talking to you, because eventually we will run out of our high-priority vices and talk more. Maybe. But probably not.

—Bill Crotty is an interdisciplinary studies senior who really hopes his girlfriend does not read this.

—This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.