JAM: 3 remixes that probably should never have existed

by Hutton Marshall

A remix can be a lot of things, but it can’t be the original. Some could argue we should never touch a song and all that “If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it!” jazz.

The remixes below are probably the best argument for that way of thinking. They definitely don’t qualify as art, that much I’m sure of. They could be a perversion of music, a waste of time and an insult to the work they’ve altered, but if you can’t find something to enjoy in these songs, you probably should stop reading my posts.

Mustard Pimp- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Remix

I almost feel bad putting this song on this list. I went and saw Mustard Pimp at Voyeur last month and they didn’t play this. Needless to say, I was crushed. However, this video did cater to my biggest weakness which I am unable to resist: ‘90s hip-hop dancing. I don’t have to tell you that Will Smith did this as well as anybody else back then, and here’s the proof.

Terabyte Frenzy- Theme from Harry Potter (Dubstep Remix)

I would suspect that John Williams, the composer of this remix’s original, is probably not Terabyte Frenzy’s biggest fan. Also, this remix may have destroyed any wonderment kept from my childhood about these films and books. So go ahead and call me a monster, the drops in this song are too dirty to deny.

Schmoyoho- Bed Intruder Song

Okay — I know many wouldn’t call this a “remix.” I wouldn’t call Antoine Dodson the best choice for a person to interview. So given that he probably should never have been put on television in the first place, I’ll go ahead and call it even. That being said, this Youtube video has more than 75 million views. THAT’S MORE THAN THE POPULATION OF THE UNITED KINGDOM. He is also the only person to be more flamboyant than Daniel Tosh while on his show, Tosh.0. This is not an easy accomplishment, and it deserves our utmost respect.