I cried writing this article because for the first time this semester it actually hit me like a brick wall: in 48 days I am going to get on a plane and live in Spain for five months.

Before I started college, I was planning on studying abroad.

I applied knowing I would get accepted into my program, but I never really grasped how big of a deal it was going to be.

When I saw the nomination I cried.

I cry a lot.

I was at the Aztec Recreation Center when I read the email and ran into the bathroom crying, then called my mom.

I thought I would feel really excited when I got the nomination to study abroad but that wasn’t the case.

I felt nervous, scared, sad and yes, a little excited too.

It became real that I was going to go abroad but still, it didn’t hit me until now.

There are certain things someone has to do once they get nominated by San Diego State to go abroad.

There’s an actual checklist provided by the study abroad office and it includes applying to the university you want to attend so they can accept you, getting classes you can take abroad approved, applying for a visa and scholarships and looking for housing, to name a few.

Even though doing all of this is relatively easy I’m not going to lie, applying for scholarships, making sure your classes get approved and looking for housing can be a little annoying and waiting for a response from everything made me anxious.

I sent in my application to La Universidad Zaragoza so they could officially accept me into the school in October, but I did not get an official response until early December.

This was a major pain, because in order to get my Spanish student visa I needed the official acceptance letter from my university abroad.

It was not recommended to purchase my flights until I knew for sure I was accepted and I couldn’t apply for housing until I received the letter.

This was annoying to say the least and caused me to stress.

Before I officially got accepted, I was buying clothes, looking at flights and choosing what classes I wanted to take but it all seemed like a fantasy.

Editor’s Note: She really wanted these black Timberland boots and told everyone in the office about them.

I was kind of going through the motions.

I had so many other things to worry about with school, The Daily Aztec and life that I put thinking about studying abroad on the back burner because it wasn’t legit yet.

Now that everything has started to fall into place, it’s slowly starting to hit me, but writing this backpage caused my feelings to crumble.

Right now I feel what I felt when I got the nomination but intensified by 10 times more.

I am nervous because I’m going on this journey alone. There are many things that are still unknown, like housing and my class schedule and I also keep thinking “what if I get lost, mugged or run out of money two weeks in?”

Right now, I feel sad because I have never not seen my friends, family and boyfriend for over a month and even when I don’t see them, they are in the same time zone and a phone call away.

Even though everyone is still a phone call away, they are now nine hours and an ocean apart.

I am sad that things might drastically change while I am in Spain.

I get sad thinking about all the family events and milestones I am going to miss and all the people I won’t get to see.

I’m sad that I won’t be News Editor of The Daily Aztec anymore and I won’t be able to come into the office everyday and annoy the entire staff with how needy I am.

Editor’s Note: She is not annoying.

A lot of the editorial staff are seniors so I might not get to see them all together in this awesome work environment ever again.

However, even though I am currently sad, nervous and have a major fear of missing out, I am extremely excited for this coming year.

Before even stepping foot in Spain I have already learned something about life, as lame as it sounds.

I’ve always been the person to have a plan and to make sure I am in control of everything, but throughout this entire study abroad process, I have put my faith in other people or just let things be and they have all worked out.

So even though I don’t know where I am going to live in 48 days, I pray I don’t run out of money and hope I don’t miss too many things back home, I know everything will fall into place.

I have faith these next five months will be the most life-changing months of my life, for better or worse.