Reggie Ellis is a journalism seniorSend comments to: daletter@mail.sdsu.edu

For many families the phrase ‘happy holidays’ echoes through theirhearts like church bells at a wedding, signifying something beautifulhas come to pass.

However, for my family I must offer a different analogy, one thatrings true of a disjointed orchestra fighting for domination of asong. The brass are blasting, the percussion pounding, the woodwindsshrieking and the strings slashing each trying to be louder than theother.

My Thanksgiving thanks goes to the passing of Round 1 of theholidays. The first campaigns have been fought, but many in thisyear’s war remain.

The hypocrisy of the holidays begins with Thanksgiving. The namesounds innocent enough, but when I look deeper I find a trap. Oneperson in the family, usually the mother or grandmother, will inviteeveryone to their house under the guise of wanting to visit.

The alpha female will then attempt to establish dominance andprecede to tell everyone what they are doing wrong in their lives. Inthe spirit of equality she leaves no one out, and when she runs outof people she returns to the beginning of her list to begin anew.

This battle sparks much smaller intra-family skirmishes betweenthe siblings and even trickles down to cousins stealing toys fromeach other.

This usually ends in early and abrupt departures, as everyonetries to make sense of the holiday spirit on their drives home whileat the same time minimizing their casualties.

This gives way to Round 2 of the holidays — shopping. Onceeveryone has cooled down from Thanksgiving they start making callsand apologizing for the things they said, or so you would think.

What actually ensues is a suppression of “How much money would Iget if I killed them (just kidding, or not)?” types of feelings.

Then to get the other person off the phone someone will begin thedouble-edged question “What do you want for Christmas?” Both partieswill ask the question but neither will be waiting to hear the answeras the plan to get the present that they know the other will hate toteach them a lesson in this glorious holiday season.

After the second campaign Round 3 follows — Christmas. Most wouldthink the celebration of the birthday of the son of God would besomewhat joyous and forgiving, but who wants to give up the shakingargumentative ground they’re making their stand on? Who wants to giveup the battle for personal and family domination?

So, for months they plan their strategies trying to calculatetheir opponent’s every move. “If she says my kids are disrespectful,I can come back with ‘I told you what would happen if you didn’t getme a nice car for my 16th birthday!'” or “What about the time youstabbed Mom with a fork?”

Sure, Christmas morning is great when everyone is gettingpresents, even if they don’t like them, but as soon as the sun goesdown the tempers rise and their carefully planned strategies comeinto play and … well, see the end of Round 1.

However, Round 4 is a much happier time. Round 4 is more aboutatonement than obliteration. There is no trap involved on New Year’sEve.

The family, having learned their lesson, stay at their respectivecorners of the state. They get drunk, sing a song about forgettingabout others and the problems they bring — “Auld Lang Syne” — whichreminds our warped minds to call those we have tried to put out ofour minds and let them know that in our current drunken stupor wefinally forgive them for all the things they had said when they weresober.

So, I hope you are one of the lucky people who can spend more timeenjoying family than trying to escape them. If your not, make sureyou replace physical contact on New Year’s with a simple wasted orfried phone call. Oh, and by the way, happy holidays.

This column is the opinion of the columnist and not The DailyAztec.