So We Hear
Sieg heil, mein Martha: The Kmart Corp. pulled this week’s issueof The Globe tabloid from its shelves, as the magazine featured afront-page banner headline reading “Mean Martha Stewart Exposed.” Thearticle reveals unflattering details about Stewart and herunderhanded business tactics to be released in an upcoming book,Martha Inc. The discount retailer, which filed for bankruptcy inJanuary and has closed several stores, is largely dependent onStewart’s products, their top-selling items. Thus begins the epicstruggle between the three greatest oppressors of poor white peoplein America: Kmart, Stewart and supermarket tabloids.
Rockin’ and Rasslin’: Forceable Entry, an album of so-calledrockers doing WWF stars’ anthems, currently sits at No. 3 onBillboard’s Top 200 Albums chart, having sold 145,000 albums in itsfirst week. The disc features such bands as Drowning Pool doingTriple H’s theme, Disturbed performing Steve Austin’s theme and neuvowhite trash Kid Rock covering veteran white trash ZZ Top’s whitetrash classic, “Legs.” Rob Zombie told MTV News “Wrestling and heavymetal: It’s one and the same.” No sh**.
Jerry Springer would’ve been a lot cheaper: White trash rapperEminem settled a civil suit brought against him by John Guerra, theman he allegedly beat with an unloaded handgun outside the Hot RockSports Bar and Music Cafe in Warren, Mich., in June 2000, afterGuerra kissed Eminem’s then-wife Kimberly Mathers. Eminem will paythe man $100,000. Sadly, this will not delay the rapper’s next album,The Eminem Show, from being released May 28, as scheduled.
White trash haikus
My house is on wheels
Damned alien S.O.B.s
Try and probe me now
Day at the big game
Eatin’ hot dogs with GranPaw
“That Chinaman sucks”
Fambily dinner
Junior, get offa Momma
Yer sister needs some
Warm Old Milwaukee
Grace Under Fire marathon
The dog let one rip
Burnt piece of rubber
GM symbol and moustache
My Dale Earnhardt shrine
One-dollar food stamp
Twenty-five cent pack of gum
Three more stores to go
Around Town
Tonight: Imperial Teen at The Casbah. For information, call (619)232-HELL.
Tonight: The Melvins at Brick By Brick. For information, call(619) 275-5483.
Friday: Pressure 4-5, Audiovent, Earshot and Something To Burn atThe Epicentre in Mira Mesa. Tickets are available throughTicketmaster; call (619) 220-TIXS.
Sunday: The Tempo staff is heading down to TJ to research storiesfor a package we’re working on. Anyone who wants to join us iswelcome. Meet at the Mission Valley Trolley Station at 11 a.m.
— Compiled by Ken “Doublewide” Smith, with help from Jeff “Firein the Sky” Terich
