I hate class. A lot. I’ve hated class for the past three years, but that’s another story. This story is about what happens when you pair a bored student with a boring class – and also about what happens when you run out of column ideas. I won’t say which class I was in because I’d like to pass it, but here’s how I entertained myself through one of the longest hour-and-15-minute blocks ever.5:28 p.m. – Show up to class. Nice turnout today. Of the 40-something people enrolled, there are maybe 15 here. One is asleep already, and class hasn’t even started. 5:31 – I’m keeping track of the number of times the professor says “OK,” “right,” and “basically,” which he pronounces “basicawlrry.” It’s nice to know that mastery of the English language isn’t a prerequisite to teach at San Diego State. One minute in and it’s already two “OKs” and one “right.” Basicawlrry, he needs to learn some new transition words.5:41 – I’ve decided to pass a note back and forth high-school style with the girl who sits behind me. She’s very careful with her passes, almost as if the Gestapo is watching and will shoot anyone caught passing notes. She also takes notes on what we’re learning. Rookie. Also, note-passing is an underrated form of communication. The anticipation waiting for them to pass it back is about the only thing keeping me sane right now because we’re up to five “OKs” and three “rights.”6:00 – While waiting for the note to come back and answer the question, “Do I come off too cocky?”, I’m now receiving text messages from three separate friends with updates of the Monday Night Football game. I have good friends. 6:04 – Apparently, I don’t come off too cocky. In other news, she totally thinks I’m amazing. By the way, seating yourself near attractive women is a good way to ensure you come to class. We’re learning about probability. The chances I show up to class are much higher when the standard variation of hotness seated near me is above an eight. Or something like that. I haven’t actually been taking notes.6:12 – The Titans are winning 10-0. Interesting point: Women give better updates because they’re more detailed. I know the yardage of the scoring plays and how much time is left in the quarter. Just one more thing they do better than us. 6:25 – Class isn’t over yet, and four people have left already. The score is now 10 “OKs” to eight “rights.” Meanwhile, “basicawlrry” is mounting a comeback, up to seven. Also, he’s introduced a new word to the language, “ironicawlrry,” which I’m pretty sure is some sort of metal-working process.6:42 – Class should be over. Unfortunately, we still have three minutes to cover one more “very important topic.” In my head, I mentally dress the professor in a ballerina outfit and picture him dancing. Don’t judge me.6:46 – Finally. It’s over.
-Devin Kunysz is a marketing senior.
-This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.
