With the campaigns finished and Americans ready to move forward, there are those who like to linger and assess the presidential race and analyze what exactly happened. I am one of those people.
And while I love poll numbers, trends and all that political craziness, there is something I love more than anything: watching candidates make fools of themselves.
While America sighs, thankful it’s all over for better or worse, let’s take a look at some of the best and worst musical moments of the 2012 presidential campaign.
The Best
4. Obama: Signed, Sealed, Delivered.
No matter how you feel about his politics, it is undeniable President Barack Obama is just cool. He has an air about him that positively exudes excellence and style. Look at his choice of song for this re- election campaign, Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours” Forget stuffy old patriotic songs and clichés (“Taking Care of Business,” anyone?) — Obama went straight for the soul with an American classic from an American legend. So funky, so smooth, so cool.
3. Barack “Al Green” Obama
Reiterating my point from the previous choice is Obama’s positively sensual performance of Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” at a fundraising event at Harlem’s Apollo Theater earlier this year. Not only did we learn the president has some killer pipes, he is also the Baller- In-Chief. Around the country, you could hear ladies (and some dudes) swoon about his sultry rendition of the Al Green classic. America’s now made it clear it wants to stay together with Obama for four more years.
2. Slow Jammin’ With B. Rock
During his presidency, Obama appeared on numerous late-night talk shows such as “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” However, perhaps his best appearance was his “Slow Jam the News” with Jimmy Fallon and The Roots on Fallon’s late-night talk show. Obama discussed politics with a seriously sexual backtrack, with Fallon and the Roots interjecting with soulful vocals. “The POTUS with the most-est?” Yeah, I’d agree.
1. Herman Cain Catches ‘Em All
So, I’ll concede this is a pretty Obama-centric list. However, the no. 1 spot actually goes to a Republican, one who was struck down before his time. Of course, I speak of Herman Cain. At a GOP debate, Cain quoted a “poem,” saying, “Life can be a challenge/Life can be impossible/But it’s never easy when there’s so much on the line.” Powerful words, Mr. Cain, and even more so once it was revealed they’re actually the opening lines of Donna Summer’s, “The Power of One,” also known as the theme song from “Pokémon: The Movie 2000.” To Cain’s credit, nobody doesn’t love the Pokémon and Cain took this potential gaffe and ran with it, owning his Poke-quoting. Cain went so far as to perform an extended spoken word version of the song at a Colbert rally in January. When it all comes down to it, Cain wants to be the very best, like no one ever was, and I don’t think anyone can fault him for it. Catch ‘em all, Herman Cain. There are now more Pokémon than Electoral College votes.
The Worst
(Note: Worst is subjective. Personally, I found these moments to be a testament to the American peoples’ will to put up with some really stupid crap in support of their candidate.)
3. Please, Put The Dogs Back Where They Came From
Romney lost and that just sucks. “The Daily Show” is going to lose out on a ton of material for the next four years and there may never be another “Who Let the Dogs Out” moment. In an attempt to connect with African- American voters during a campaign stop on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Romney proved he might, in fact, be the most out-of-touch candidate ever. During a photo op, Romney felt the need to channel his inner hip-hop with a stirring rendition of the Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out.” Another actual quote from Romney at the Jacksonville, Fla. event? “Hey, what’s happenin’? Looks like you got some bling bling here, too.” Ouch.
2. Romney the Beautiful
Do you remember those kids in high school who thought they were a talented singer? They’d be at every choir audition, every musical tryout, no matter how outmatched they were. They’d get up in front of everyone, confident as ever, and sing their lungs out while the spectators shift uncomfortably in their seats. Now, imagine one of those kids is your party’s presidential nominee. Picture the citizens of a whole country coughing and checking their phones, doing anything they can to avoid Romney’s awkward performance of “America the Beautiful” in January. It was rough.
1. Meat Loaf: So Brave
It got worse. Just last month, Romney was joined on stage by a few celebrity endorsers, including the legendary(?) Meat Loaf. Romney decided one butchering of “America the Beautiful” wasn’t enough and had to go for a sequel. This time, he had friends. I would say the song started well, but in reality, it didn’t. It was a train wreck from the start. Then, like a bat out of hell, Meat Loaf goes off the rails and starts singing in a style that can only be described as an elderly man having a stroke. He managed to silence the other performers, along with the entire country. Mostly, they just wanted to make sure he was OK. The tableaux of three country singers attempting to finish the song, Romney waving awkwardly and Mr. Loaf doubled over, attempting to recover from his what-the-f*** performance is, and will always be, my favorite image from this election season.
