Being a college student isn’t easy. It’s common for us to be full-time students, get good/passable grades, be involved in student organizations and do internships, all while working part-time jobs to be able to afford our many expenses. Some of us even have to pay for tuition without the help of parents or financial aid. Considering college tuition prices have increased by 1,120 percent in the past 30 years and show no signs of stopping, it’s safe to say that when it comes to being a college student at this time, the struggle has never been more real.
This is why when a Duke University freshman was revealed to be a porn star a couple of months ago, I wasn’t shocked or disgusted in the least. From a financial standpoint, I understand her. She is at Duke, which is one of the top-ranking schools in the country. Unfortunately, that means $60,000 a year in tuition and fees. I couldn’t imagine being accepted to Duke University, and not being able to afford to go. Lauren, the name the freshman is referred to as in her skin flicks, chose to do something that would help pay for her school, while doing something she enjoyed. I refuse to shame her for that. This is a girl that has goals and dreams. It’s not as if she’s not doing anything with her life but porn.
I also appreciate the conversation she’s started in this country about female sexuality. Think about this question for a moment: Do you think the Duke porn star would have been harassed, judged and threatened as much if she was male? I’m going to guess no. Most likely he’d be welcomed with open arms by all his buddies. There’s a problem in the United States in that people are so quick to judge women about things they “shouldn’t do,” but it seems like the sky is the limit for our male counterparts. It’s interesting that under all the unflattering attention she’s been getting, the frat student who outted her, Thomas Bagley, is not being condemned nearly as much for watching the porn in the first place. By watching porn, you are actually approving and supporting the porn industry. So what gives those people the right to judge her? Say what you want about “Lauren,” but Bagley’s name has been spread across the Internet as well, without anyone shaming nearly the amount of shame.
This story has inspired me to think about my own life. Too many times to count, I’ve worried about how I was going to pay my rent or pay off my student loans. At one point, I did wonder if I could do what “Lauren” did—to not only do porn, but to be proud of it, own it. And while I know that that isn’t something I’m confident enough to do, I know that she’s one of the bravest women out there. Had she been just a girl who was outted by a classmate and ran away, this would not have been much of a story. The fact that she embraced so completely what she does is inspirational. As women, too often do we think of the opinions of other people in society, and not enough do we do what makes us happy. Let’s work on changing that.
It’s astonishing how much backlash “Lauren” is getting over something that she’s proud of. At the end of the day, her decisions are none of our business. Even if you don’t like her choices or lifestyle, even if it’s not something you would personally do, respect it anyway. She isn’t hurting herself or other people, so let her be.
Photo screenshot from Lauren’s twitter
