Dates are a cautious dance of words. Making a good impression is no easy task. It is important to carefully consider what you reveal about yourself. Trust is earned with time and unless you’re going out with a best friend, your date doesn’t need to know every dirty little secret just yet. Besides, a little mystery is always attractive.

On the first date, small talk is the usual protocol. Discover what you have in common through talking about your daily life, hobbies and interests. If the person is second date material, the words should flow easily. First dates are inevitably awkward, but when you’re with someone who has potential, the awkwardness is laughable, not stifling.

Keep in mind some topics should stay out of the conversation completely, including exes, sex, fetishes,secrets,self-esteemissues, socioeconomic status, religion, politics, anything controversial and anything too depressing. Basically, you want to avoid anything that would provoke discomfort or awkwardness. As a disclaimer, it’s more important to be yourself. If any of those topics are so integral to your self- image that you would feel fake not mentioning them then, by all means, cut to the chase. Perhaps your date will admire your conviction and directness. Another important rule is to listen more than talk. You want to be confident but not self-absorbed and you want to take a genuine interest in the person you’re with. Ask a lot of questions, use a lot of humor and show the best parts of yourself. In later dates, you can delve into more sensitive issues when the time is right and when your date has earned your trust.

It is also important to remember, while making a good first impression is important, there is plenty of room for mistakes. Take a page from Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” and a lesson from Mr. Darcy, who proves (at least in fiction) redemption is always possible.