Valentine’s Day is a wonderful time for two kinds of people: those in happy relationships and those who own greeting card companies. For everyone else, it is simply a painful reminder of perpetual singleness, rampant corporate materialism or the angst of a decaying relationship. Let’s focus on the last point.

In the beginning, it was great. You had chemistry. Dating was fun. There was a “spark.” Now, the beer goggles are off and this significant other is starting to resemble someone you’d like to call an ex. If only love was so simple.

Unfortunately, there is a good chance your significant other may feel differently. How is this true? Simple: They’re still around. If they wanted to be gone, they would be gone. Either that or they’re terribly indecisive, and who wants to be with someone like that anyway?

Now, it’s Valentine’s Day. Your significant other is blind in romantic bliss and you’re feeling awkward with a secret understanding of this doomed relationship. However, date night is planned and someone is about to feel a deep hole in their pocket, so you go through with it. Whether acting for a free meal or a last-ditch act of decency, now is not a bad time to fake a little romance.

Let’s take a moment for clarification. This is not an endorsement for deceitful behavior. At any other time, faking love would be cruel and unforgivable. However, despite the tremendous cliché of expectations surrounding this Hallmark holiday, today is not the day to be breaking hearts. You should have broken up with this poor schmo a long time ago, but you didn’t. Therefore, they deserve one last night of sentimental ignorance.

Perhaps you’ve simply been waiting for this day to perform the ultimate act of jilter’s irony. Yes? Well, congratulations on that sadistic sense of humor. Today should be one for the books.

-Kelly Callas is an English junior.

-This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Daily Aztec.