Messy Manners: I love my boyfriend, but he has terrible manners. Every time we eat together, he chews with his mouth open and eats like it’s his last meal. Obviously, I want to stay with him but it’s getting on my nerves and I’m afraid that I’ll blow up on him one day about it. Help!
Love Guru: I think it’s safe to say many ladies have encountered one of these guys, right? Just because you go to dinner with someone doesn’t mean you want to see it actively being broken down in their mouth—fascinating as the process may be. Commenting on someone’s natural manner can be perceived as intrusive, as if you’re ridiculing their looks. So, you may want to refrain from directly saying anything critical to your man about how he eats, because such an intimate judgment may make him feel uncomfortable around you. After all, you don’t want it to be your last supper together. I suggest making humorous, passive comments such as, “Goin’ animal style on that burger, eh?” or, “Daddy’s hungry!” As soon as this lighthearted message leaves your mouth, your boyfriend will acknowledge that his eating is a little out of control and begin to alter his behavior. You might even get a giggle out of him. Finally, if you feel like you’re about to blow, leave the table for a minute and return with thoughts of how much you love your beau for everything that he is, even with that piece of food stuck in his teeth.
Forever Young: So, I’ve been dating this guy on and off for about a year. He recently asked me to be his girlfriend and we’ve been together now for about a month. However, his best friend, whom I’ve been friends with for a long time, just disclosed to me that my boyfriend has been lying to me about his age. I’m afraid that if I bring it up to him, it will upset him. His real age doesn’t really bother me, but I still feel like he should be honest with me about it and I really want him to feel like he can trust me. If I ask him about it, he’ll know that his best friend told me and it could potentially ruin their friendship. His best friend also told me not to say anything. What should I do?
Love Guru: Although his age doesn’t bother you, you should ask yourself why he lied to you. If he has insecurity issues, they’ll continue to haunt the relationship. Because you’re his girlfriend now, you have the right to know the truth. Besides, the longer you two date, the more unlikely his ruse will be. Is he never going to introduce you to his family or other friends? Is he going to ask all of his relatives and acquaintances not to disclose his age to you? See how silly this gets? I would just ask him to be honest. I doubt you will ruin his friendship with his best friend, especially if you’re OK with his age.
Miss Introverted: I have my eye on this guy in one of my classes with about 150 people in it. I’m a shy person, so I’m not sure how to go about approaching him and start talking to him. What should I do?
Love Guru: Who said you had to go up and start talking to him? That could be very intimidating for you because you have clearly stated you are an introvert. How about you sit next to him and start making small talk? If you don’t know how to do that, just ask him if he has a pen you could borrow or tell him you didn’t hear what the professor just said and politely ask him to repeat. This way, it will be easier for you to obtain his name so you can add him as a friend on Facebook. Or use an upcoming test as an excuse to exchange phone numbers.
Masculine Mystique: Love Guru, I know it’s kind of cliché, but I’m honestly curious about what guys really want. The male brain is so hard to pick apart. I just really want to know: What are the most attractive qualities a guy looks for in a girl?
Love Guru: First of all, you came to the right place. Second, the bottom line is that each and every male has different preferences, so what one guy may find attractive, the other may find repulsive. It all depends on who you’re dealing with. And, like another cliché you might be familiar with, “attractive” or “beautiful” qualities are in the eye of the beholder. So really, it’s kind of a toss-up. But, for the sake of your question, I thought I might throw out some common characteristics in a lady that catches my eye.
1. Humor: A woman with a sense of humor keeps things light. Not that she has to bust out jokes in every conversation or have a Tina Fey-like wit, but it’s important not to take life so seriously and learn to laugh every once in a while, even if it’s just at herrself.
2. Smart/Knowledgeable: Intelligence, at least for me, is a major turn-on. I’m not suggesting she needs to be strictly book smart, because intelligence goes far beyond that. A girl who can carry on a conversation, who has a fair amount of common sense and who has a good head on her shoulders can always find me wanting to pursue her more.
3. Free spirit: A girl who is spontaneous, goes with the flow and makes the most of what life has to offer can be very attractive. While the word “spirit” might conjure up the thought of a ‘60s hippie, in this case, it simply means being open to experiences. There is nothing worse than someone who is stuffy, dull and isn’t willing to try new things.
4. Confidence: A woman who is comfortable in her own skin, and who can display that to the world, is one of the most attractive qualities. It doesn’t mean she flaunts herself with an egotistical air. It’s about being confident in who you are and what you stand for and not being afraid to let others see the real you. Because, when you think about it, you want to be with someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are.
