With a new pope chosen and Easter just around the corner, the Catholic world is abuzz with speculation regarding what will come for faithful practitioners. While members of other religions may look on less anxiously, many Catholics still look to their religious leader to guide their spiritual path. Now is a good time to remember that we need to establish our individual personalities before religious leaders do it for us.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, religion is “devotion or fidelity; scrupulous conformity; conscientiousness.” For many, religion is an outlet for the basic human need of companionship. It can give people an optimistic outlook by relieving the stress of trying to control the uncontrollable elements of life. It provides a sense of community for those who are in need of friends It can provide support, a hug or just a group of like-minded people to spend time with. Many religious organizations hold events for their followers, such as youth groups in churches or regular meetings for meditation. It can even give a sense of meaning to a life that may otherwise seem meaningless.

But let’s examine the “scrupulous conformity” part of the definition. When you’re trying so hard to meet your religion’s idea of perfection, you risk losing your uniqueness in the process.

Religion can make you strive desperately for perfection. Let’s face it, no one on Earth is perfect. Religion can cause you to throw your money on the alms plate, even when it means you’ll be eating Top Ramen noodles for the next week. If you don’t do it, you feel judged as less worthy of God’s love or might feel as if you have taken two steps backward on the path to enlightenment. Religion can force you to love the person who cut you off, even when you’d feel better shouting a few choice words from behind the comfort of your car’s closed windows. Religious ideals can even make you feel unworthy of those you love most dearly, as if they won’t want to love you any more if you don’t pray five times a day.

But we have to ask ourselves, what is better, to be perfect, or to be happy?

I know from personal experience the trials of conforming to a religion you weren’t born into. During my time in high school, I dated a boy who swore we couldn’t be together unless I was “saved” by God. I started my religious journey for all the wrong reasons. I made the mistake of believing everything about me was wrong or impure. I cringed every time I didn’t smile to someone I passed in the street because I obviously wasn’t loving my neighbor as much as I should. I cried every time I made the smallest mistake and thought I should have done something better. In the end, I realized the answer to my religious conundrums, made my peace with the powers that be and bowed out.

Religion isn’t for everyone. If you do choose religion, choose it for your own reasons. Don’t embark on that journey for some special someone who may be a temporary installment in your life, because you were pushed into it or you feel you aren’t a good person without it. We all have the potential to be good people on our own and whatever higher power may exist probably wants us to be happy. Whether that means giving money during a church collection or smiling at a stranger, it’s up to us.