Relationship Reboot: I have been with my boyfriend for three years. Although I love him, I am tired of him not trying. He never does anything romantic and I am beginning to lose hope. I feel like the spark has disappeared and I don’t know what to do. Help!
Love Guru: This tends to be a common problem with many couples who make the one-year milestone. When we first start dating someone, we are excited. We want to impress and win the person’s adoration. Three years is a huge commitment and there will be rough patches. I am a believer in staying by your partner’s side through thick and thin. If you envision a future together, then try to communicate. Tell your partner you want to watch the sunset, go out for a nice dinner or better yet spend some one-on-one time together. These suggestions can put you both in the mood for some rekindling. If you find yourself not getting what you need, maybe it’s time for a break. Breaking up, or even taking a break, is a bold wake-up call. If he reacts to the change, things will hopefully improve. If he doesn’t, try dating someone new. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Ring for Spring: Recently, I’ve seen a lot of couples exchange promise rings or get engaged. When is the right time to get married, Love Guru?
Love Guru: Marriage is an intimate and personal decision that really depends on the relationship. People who get married quickly don’t usually have the chance to really get to know each other. Overall, the right time is when two people can learn to make sacrifices for one another and are ready to share that relationship with the world. In addition, understand each other’s flaws and accept them 100 percent before making such a commitment. Good luck!
Dating Drama: My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months, but lately it’s been nothing but drama. We argue a lot, he’s become pretty jealous when it comes to me being around other guys and I feel like he’d rather hang out with his friends than me. I really care about him, but I don’t know how much more I can take. Should I try to work on our problems or break up with him? The real question is, how do you know when it’s time to break up with someone?
Love Guru: It might be time to cut the cord. While no relationship is perfect, it sounds to me like you have seemingly unresolvable issues with this. It might help to dissect the situation. What kinds of things are you arguing about? Whether it’s something as insignificant as what movie to see or more important topics, such as religious views, talking to each other might reveal very determining differences between both of you. As for the jealousy, think about whether you’ve given your boyfriend a reason to feel that way. If not, he may be more insecure than you’d like to admit, and that’s definitely something you need to address. It’s nearly impossible to be with someone who doesn’t trust you—and besides, why would you want to be? If you think he wants to be out with his buddies instead of you, you should definitely express those feelings to him. Maybe he doesn’t realize you feel this way. In this situation, honesty and communication are key.
The best indicator of whether or not to break up with your significant other is if the relationship is no longer serving you. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable and satisfying, not stressful—especially in the beginning. While it’s noble to want to stick around and work things out, sometimes the best thing to do is to let go. You might need to set yourself free from this situation. Even though it may not have lasted very long, think of it as a learning experience. With every relationship comes a lesson—you figure out what you want and what you don’t. You might care about this guy, but if you aren’t being treated the way you should, consider doing yourself a favor and moving on to
something better.
